Main protagonist Volodymir Zelensky:

Now that man has completely lost his grasp on reality, no?

1) Russia isn’t very interested in shipping fertilizer to hostile Europe, even less to villainous America of all countries. Russia = ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, EU = 😮

2) as a sign of goodwill would Russia maybe sell said fertilizer if the EU lifts the sanctions for its own good. Russia = ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, EU = 😉

3) Ukraine and Zelensky are in no position for negotiations. Not anymore. So they don’t appear in either scenario. Russia = ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, Ukraine = 😦

Give it up, Zele, there is no way for you to come out of this unharmed. Not even to save face.

This is even besterer: Russia = ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, 3rd World countries = \o/ YAY! \o/