O@tNetflix: Rebel Moon 1+2

When a peaceful settlement on the edge of a distant moon finds itself threatened by the armies of a tyrannical ruling force, Kora (Sofia Boutella), a mysterious stranger living among the villagers, becomes their best hope for survival. Tasked with finding trained fighters who will unite with her in making an impossible stand against the Mother World, Kora assembles a small band of warriors – outsiders, insurgents, peasants and orphans of war from different worlds who share a common need for redemption and revenge. As the shadow of an entire Realm bears down on the unlikeliest of moons, a battle over the fate of a galaxy is waged, and in the process, a new army of heroes is formed. —Netflix

If Kathleen Kennedy did only one right thing in her foobared carreer as Lucas Film headhoncho it was declining Zack Snyder’s idea for a new Star Wars trilogy. Because, friends, let’s face it, has Snyder ever created anything great other than lots of hype around his various mediocre movie projects? Have you ever felt anything but bitter disappointment after watching any of his flicks? Not even the stupid Kennedy fell for Snyder’s bad idea.

But Snyder did it nevertheless, on his own. Sell it to Netflix, they are known for buying/producing every shit. And look at Rebel Moon, it’s more or less just a genderswapped A New Hope, nothing new or creative in this flick. It’s fine, it’s ok, we all can live with the umpteenth space western, the same old story … if told right.

But that’s where Snyder stumbled and failed. An experienced film-maker like him shouldn’t settle with such an amateurish fan fiction screenplay, with such cardboard cut-out non-characters and a plot that makes your whole body go numb.

Sorry, you know I’m hardcore watching every little shit! And this shit came even with one of my fave new bishes in the lead role. Didn’t help, after about 20 mins I was so bored/peed off, I shut it off. 😦




Kora returns to Veldt with the farmer Gunnar and the warriors Titus, Nemesis, Darrian Bloodaxe and Tarak. Titus commands the defense of the farmers and asks them to harvest the grains and use them to protect their homes. While waiting for Atticus Noble and his men, they disclose their pasts waiting for the showdown with the mother world’s force. —Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

More because I’m a completionist, not because I had great hopes in it, I downloaded Pt. 2 – The Shitgiver, as well. Switched it on – and this time I switched it off again already after 10 minutes. That’s how little fun I had watching it. Snyder hadn’t learned anything from the first part, tripped into the same traps. Throwing a bucket of infodump on your audience doesn’t equal having good characters.

And a draw-by-numbers plot doesn’t equal good entertainment! And stealing old ideas from other franchises won’t get you any brownie points neither, Zack. 😐

Jeebuz, even the battlecruiser of the space nazis reminded me on Space Dandy‘s ship Aloha Oe.

What a badly fuxxed up project Rebel Moon’s turned out to be. Absolutely joyless. 😦

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