Of course! It was Smilo Ren, the guy everybody – really everybody – knew to be the secret shit lord.

Qimir! Anyone thought the Star Wars kidz on duty had the needed brains to redirect our attention into a wrong direction, present him as a wrong suspect? Naw, they lack the media competency to come up with even the easiest story vehicles.

No wonder the Audience Score went from the abysmal 14% down to 13%. Hilarious! 😦

Apart from that I was kinda satisfied to see a lot of fast-paced lightsaber action, even nicely choreographed. The stupid dialogues were kept to a minimum. Not a minimum of stupid but a minimum of screentime. Our two fave girlies, Osha and Mae were still blabbering like little kidz … I love you, I kill you, what did you do? And not able to do a simple action, following a simple order. 😦

“We have to go back to the ship.”

“Okay … no we gotta return to the fight and observe everybody dying!”

“No, we have an order.”

With such stupid dialogues they stretch not only the runtime, and our nerves, they make their characters unbelievably hard to identify with or feel any empathy.

Ok, logic and reason were never part of this shitshow, and it didn’t change. But at least was epi 5 full of action, a bunch of deaded jedi – oh no, Jecki! 😮 – and a meandering plot, what plot?

Total crapola. But at least it didn’t bore me as much as the first 4 parts. And by now, being in since 5 crappy weeks, Ima gonna hatewatch the last 3 episodes as well.

Oh, and have you seen Amandla’s failure at producing a hip-hop video, and Lesbye Headlamp’s totally misdirected attempts to blame the racist fans for the shitty series? But at long last Disney seems to wake up. The lost millions are hard to cover and the stakeholders are getting restless and calling for Kathy Kennedys head.

What are your feelings about The Apocrapto? Lemme know in the comments …