*** EDIT *** Switch to Linux

Frens, today we’re not talking about Tom’s YouTube channel of similar name but about my Put Linux on Your Computer, 2023 short and to the point version. Which means no ideology, no propaganda, just what you need to do in order to become a better person in the matter of one hour.


Here we go:

You need a spare computer. And you’ll still need your main machine … for the moment.
You also need one USB stick.
And of course you need a working interwebz konnekshon! Kinda important that is.
With the internet you surf to the Linux Mint website. Shut up! We’re using Mint coz it be the best for you, I’ve decided. On the homepage you klik on Download …
… and in Download you choose the first option: Cinnamon. It really is a nice nice desktop with all the bells and whistles, yet eezy peezy to use.
In Download you’ll find a looong list of mirror locations. You choose the one closest to your home. If you’re not sure where your home is just klikka on World.
I choose a mirror in the UK since South African servers are shittily maintained. Cya in 7 minutes …
Fuk dat! We don’t need no authentification. We’re downloading from officially registered servers, ffs!
In the folder that your Windows uses as Downloads folder you find the Minty fresh ISO file. Drag it on your desktop or leave it were it is, just don’t forget where to find it.
We leave the Minty realm for now and surf to Balena Etcher. It’s the bestest and easiest way to flash your brand new ISO file onto your USB stick.
And again you’ll find the downloaded file in your Downloads folder, D’uh.

Sorry, need to interlope here. Years ago, when I last used Etcher we could just use it directly on Balena’s website. Now you need to download/install it. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ But it’ll be super easy, barely an inconvenience. I’m already on Linux as you might know, so I’m using the flasher that came with my Manjaro Linux. Cya in a bit with your ready-to-install ISO on a stick.

I know this ain’t Windows and not Etcher but your computer should show sumfink similar. Just keep care to flash the Linux ISO onto your USB stick, not your computer’s drive! Many many hopefulls forgot to check and ruined their setups! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Lappy. Stick. You’re ready to install now!

When you’ve set up your BIOS correctly you should see this after booting your laptop. You klik on Start Linux Mint.
In the following screen you klik on Install Linux Mint …
… then choose your own language … or any you fancy and that fits your keyboard layout. Deutsch is always a good choice. Americans may think you’re Dutch and give them cheese and matjes. Most people will think you’re Hitler and respect you more. ๐Ÿ˜
In case you’re not plugged into the router search for your Wi-Fi network and connect to that.
Don’t forget your top secret and very secure password!
We assume you saved all your data and have the whole spare machine for Linuxperiments. So you klikka the second option, delete your HDD, install Minty goodness.
Important: during installation you tell your computer its name and you choose an unforgettable User Name and even unforgetabler Password. You need this often when working in Linux.
Installation starts. Time to relax for some minutes …
Mint will show you a little slideshow of all the cool things it can do during installation. What a show-off. ๐Ÿ˜‰
Installation finished! Now it’s time to reboot …
Taa-daah! Welcome in GNU/Linux!
Now it’s time for the boring nanny stuff. Do yourself a favour and suffer through it.
Very important: The initial update! Do it! Do it nao!
Look at all the yummy new shit you get. It’s brilliant!
After the update you reboot once again to make all the new yummyness stick to your machine.
Now it’s time for First Steps! Just follow the instructions and choose your favourite shit from the smorgasboard of options. This is GNU/Linux, time to make it your own!
For example by switching to a dark desktop theme …
… and the most ugly colour scheme. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
Activate the Firewall! Or don’t. Meh. ยฏ_(ใƒ„)_/ยฏ
After you’ve done the initial update you’re finally in properly, so you can inspect your menu and all the shit that’s in there. Don’t forget, Mint ain’t as nekkid as Windows, so you’ll find an office suite, multimedia softwares …
… and Mozilla Firefox as your standard interwebz browser. You can switch to any other tho.
This is the most feared part of your Linux: The fuxxin Terminal! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ Fuhgettabouteet. In Mint you won’t ever need this shit! ๐Ÿ™‚
Instead just enjoy your personal folder. All your folders and files go in here. See that Warpinator down in the corner? I forgot now if it’s part of the core system or if I had to install it from the software shop. I guess, since this luxurious Mint it was already there. With the Warpi you can send and receive files from your old Windows machine. Yes, Warpi is so cool you can install and use it in Win as well. And even in Android! Super duper!
No, Android ain’t Linux. Coz it ain’t FOSS. But yes, we can and will communicate with our small phoney cousins. Warpinator is available.

Welcome to GNU/Linux!

Questions and problems? Need support in American English? Ask Becca. For Brazilian Portuguese Lucy’s your bikini girl. Und fรผr Seelsorge auf Deutsch wendet ihr euch vertrauensvoll an Orca. And for professional help in Norse, Sverige and Dansk there is Trap, if you can get a hold of her at all.

And now go forth, have fun and be awesomely productive. ๐Ÿ™‚

PS: Here’s the complicated way to do it.


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