O@tM: Spider-Man: No Way Home

Peter Parker’s secret identity is revealed to the entire world. Desperate for help, Peter turns to Doctor Strange to make the world forget that he is Spider-Man. The spell goes horribly wrong and shatters the multiverse, bringing in monstrous villains that could destroy the world.

Another film review we can keep quite brief:

What stupid asshole wrote he screenplay and who decided do set it in scene and what fuked up director made indeed a much too long 3 hours snorefest from it? Was it really the bestest talent they could find in the Hollywood kindergarten?

Ok, I have spoken. Good bye.

No, wait, there’s more, even some positive sides to this trainwreck: Marisa Tomei is very fit for her age. Lovely. Too bad aunty May had to die.

A delicious cast of Spidy’s adversaries are doing their best to breath some life into this teenage drama.

Zendaya stays pale and is outacted by … just about everybody else on screen.

Benny Cucumberbitch otoh eats every scene he’s in. I guess in stage productions they’d call actors like him a stage hog.

But … now the elephant in the room: We get to see 3 spidies! Ok, it’s a a bit “borrowed” from Sony’s fantastic Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse idea but I loved how Tom Holland, Toby Maguire and Andrew Garfield worked together. There was some real chemistry on screen. Much more than in the Tom Holland/Zendaya scenes.

Count the Spidermans: One, two, three!

Did I already mention that No Way Home was about 1 hour too long? Particularly the typical Marvely colourful swirls and unidentifiable action nonsense was very tiring for our old eyes. Cut that out, Marvel!

And still we gotta state that the Spidy films were and still are way better than all the other Marvels. No artificial drama but positively cartoonish, which is always a plus when you do cartoon to live action adaptation. Don’t forget who your dramatis personae are and don’t forget who your audience is.

CONCLUSION: A shitflick … but with the power of 3 spidermans and therefor still better than 99% of other Marvel movies.

SPOILER: I found the greatest logical fallacy towards the end. When Holland’s spidy asks Dr. Strange for a spell that the whole world will forget Peter Parker and that he is Spider-Man and in the next scene Zendaya and Wong really don’t recognize him. But, hmmm, aren’t they all in the same class in high school and see each other daily? Somehow doesn’t compute. 😐

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