O@tM: The Neglected Ones, Pt. I

Hey, hi, hello to another roundhouse kick. Only this time it’s about all the different movies – of varying qualities – I didn’t make an O@tM writeup about right away. You know that is usually my thing: Watch and scribble the review right away or a day later … or never. All the movies I’m gonna short-review now and in the coming days belong to the never category; mostly not by their own fault but because they left me clueless, with no idea how to put my thoughts into words or what to think about them at all.

So the collection I’m gonna present you with is by no way a random heap of shitflix, often quite the contrary. I’m just too stupid/lazy to review them. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

But now I’ve decided to tackle them before the heap grows into an unclimbable mountain. Let’s start:

I’m not American and know Seth Rogen only from the kinda non-PC comedy he did with James Franco, where they assassinated Kim Jong-un or sumfink. His latest Xmas show disaster … pfff, I don’t care. American Pickle is a much more thoughtful analogy, very absurdist but also only partly funny. And all in all too artificial to really engage with our hero.

So-so entertainment.

Shit!

What a fukked up flick, what an ill-conceived concept. Kevin James couldn’t save this wannabe Home Alone-clone disaster from burning in the garbage bin. It’s just a bit too meaniepoofaced and evil.

Not the baddies – the movie is evil!

This film couldn’t be more 70s clichรฉ if it tried. Which means it aged terribly bad. Lots of subversive, subliminal, dreamlike, slightly surreal sequences, paired with bad acting, bad action and an overall amateur-theater approach makes for an interesting movie experience. I remember I’d cried my little girl’s heart out about the evil adults when I read the novel. Yes, it stuck with me for over 50 years! Back in ’71 this story about a bunch of wimpy kids surely was important and conscience provoking, today it’s just awkward.

Not bad but not a must-see either.

Netflix. Need I say more? Got a bad idea? Just pitch it to Netflix program management and get it greenlighted on the spot. Great cast and kinda great idea buuut … too early, Netflix, much too early! Buncha B- and C- listers venting their frustrations with the Covid-19 situation – while we were in the thick of it. Completely unreflected film-garbage.

Death to 2020’s biggest mistake was already put directly on the poster: Making a comedy about Covid in late 2020 was kinda tone-deaf, wasn’t it? And by the makers of Black Mirror? The fuk? They are a clever bunch, nifty social commenters, creative and all … but comedians?

What a disturbingly wrong movie at the wrong time.

Loud and brash, stupid, shallow, ultraviolent! I know what you’re thinking: That’s the bitch Orca! But hey, O@tM is my movie column, and the fact that I noticed what a stupid little flick for stupid little kidz this is, should show you that I’m above such critiques on my character. ๐Ÿ˜

Actually I guess if you’re around 14 y/o you can have quite some fun with this badly constructed shitflick. The 14 y/o boys probably some more fun than their much more sexy and clever contemporary female counterparts. But who really gives a phuk?

Grab some beers, lit up a big fat sports cigarette and have funfunfun. ๐Ÿ™‚

Old stubborn geezer vs young hotshot. Oldest story known to men. Very handsomely set in motion pictures in the majestic Himalayan mountains like only the French can do them. But don’t expect an overly dramatic drama. The movie is as ice cold and slow moving as its location. This is one of those rainy sunday afternoon films you watch with a certain ethnographic curiosity, while you sit at home waiting for better stuff to do.

10 or more years ago I failed to watch the anime, and I failed to watch the live action version as well. Not that it was bad or something. The little I saw was pretty but I would’ve loved to understand at least a little bit of the story. Sumfink with sexy North Korean spy girls in South Korea or so? Hard to say when the subtitles make no conceivable sense. :/

James McAvoy and Claire Foy in a remake of a French movie. After an interesting start and set-up it goes down rapidly. Obviously made for TV run-of-the-mill crime show with some human interest but not much suspense and basically no action.

Ok-ish adventure movie with enough suspense and nonsene non-stop action to keep you well-entertained. It’s like a modernized Raiders flick but can’t touch the blueprint in no way.

More old myths, more breathless action, more adventure, more smart and capable Nick Cage and … yes, still a nice time-waster for when you’re bored in lockdown.

If the name Henry McCarty rings a bell you’ll be a bit less surprised at the end of this surprisingly well-made, slow-burning and atmospheric low-budget wild-west drama with a surprisingly good leading man Tim Blake Nelson in the title role. Worth a view.

So, this flick is supposed Sundance material? Of course it is coz it’s got J.K. Simmons in a supporting role for the main man Andy Samberg. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ This is a typical Samberg flick: Witty mono- and dialogues, ok-ish drama and comedy, forgotten 5 minutes after the end credits rolled. No shit, I really can’t remember what it was about. Was even surprised to find my man J.K. Simmons was in it. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

Ok-ish ensemble space comedy flick about a little girl or sumsuch. Hard to tell with the super weird subtitles, as typical for many Asian movies. I can imagine this was a huge hit in Korea, it looked big and expensive and the cast was handsome. But I had problems getting into it. Friggin’ shame. But the movie was fast-paced and colourful enough, and even a bit slapsticky and childish to keep me entertained

And I guess the subtitles aren’t even bad. That’s all probably word for word correctly translated, Asians just think and formulate their thoughts totally different from us Wessies. Hence the Lost in Translation effect.

Hm, this is a difficult one. Hubby hated it, like so many others hated it, too. I told him it’s not the movie’s fault that it was marketed completely wrong with misleading trailers and all. To make it clear: This ain’t the usual Matt Damon action flick, no second Jason Bourne for adults. It’s a rather slow-burning but gripping family drama, also a romance, also a critique on America and a love-letter to France. In the only action scene our man gets roughed up by a gang of Arab younglings without fighting even back much. I liked his fish-out-of-water portrayal of the clichรฉ dumb American in Europe very much. Don’t get me wrong, belle France doesn’t get much sympathy in this movie neither.

Matt Damon was at his best in Stillwater, he kinda humbly disappeared behind his character and gave the supporting cast (Abigail Breslin, which I hated as usual, and a very good Camille Cottin) enough room to shine in their roles as well.

My abso must-see protip for you!

Same as in the Andy Samberg flick applies to this Will Ferrell vehicle as well. Good entertainment, some laughs, forgotten 5 minutes later. Total waste of Emma Thompson, Queen Latifah and Dustin Hoffman. Punches in way below its paygrade. But I recommend it anyway for the infamous rainy Sunday afternoon. I hear you Northerners have so many of at this time of the year. ๐Ÿ˜‰


That was 15 moving pictures in a quick review pulled together since yesterday. Only a small part of much more to come but I guess this is quite enough for nownow, not? 11 more to come maybe tomorrow … or later.

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