Sorry, it took me so long to come up with this review. I was so flabbergasted by what we’ve seen, I was kinda paralysed and could only muster enuff energy this very early morning to hopefully get thru the writeup. For what we’ve seen was again a perfect example of how highly paid professionals can fuk up a simple movie project. Welcome to Hollywood in the early 21st century. It’s bad.
Let’s see what we got here: A zombie outbreak with various zombs from the usual stupid af slowpokes Romero style, via a variety that gets reanimated every morning up to a fast af, kinda well-organised army and a corrupt zombie queen. Add to that a heist, ordered by a kingpin who secretly plans to kill all the cartoon character gang members once they’ve fulfilled their jobs … and in the background the clock is ticking for a nuclear extinction of our location, Las Vegas.
Oh, and of course numerous little sideplots ranging from Bautista’s estranged daughter joining the expedition and being useless to … oh! 😮 Apropos useless, let’s talk about this movie’s greatest weakness: Director Zack Snyder. After torturing us with the 4-hour snorefest Justice League, he now gives us another too-long dud of a wannabe zombie slasher.
So if you’re asking, with all the cool ingredients – and Bautista and Snyder – what could’ve possibly gone wrong?, the answer is A lot! A whole fukn truckload of stuff could’ve gone wrong! And, boy, wrong it did go! For hubby and me, and for you possibly, too, it’s a friggin wonder how they could make such a tasteless, thin soup from all the fantastic ingredients. But, well, Snyder managed! Dunno if he tried to magick some deeper meaning or even a message into the film, he failed miserably anyway. Young daughter with daddy issues, ok, we take her with us, buuuuut … wasting many precious minutes discussing with her brute-like dad about those issues takes all the little fun out of a film that already failed to give us any arc, any suspense, failed to convey us of any sense of urgency. We all should sit right at the edge of our seats, munching on our fingernails. But no! Not with Snyder. He asks us repeatedly to take our feet off the accelerator pedal. 😦
A completely failed movie! Even towards the end, when things become hectic, he let’s his characters do some stupid, illogical stuff that slows everything down even more. The fact that this was planned as the first movie of a new franchise makes it even worse. Hubby and me, we can live with the loss and think we had quite enough zombie slashers lately. In theatres, on TV and via streaming services. Zombies here, zombies there, zombies everywhere. Yawn. 😐
So, was everything just bad? No, of course not! Let’s not forget we’re watching a movie by Zack Snyder! Snyder the Great. So cinematography, mood, lighting and singular acting performances are good/great. Dave Bautista is allowed to show some acting skills and Matthias Schweighöfer shows his German quirk kinda amusingly. Rest of the ensemble are doing their best but it’s not enough to save a movie that was ruined by it’s totally misdirected direction. No idea how a hardened professional like Snyder is capable to misjudge the audience’s expectations so badly.
In the end all of the zombs and crew are dead. And we don’t give a fuk about them. Oh wait, useless daughter survived … and we couldn’t give less fux about her neither.
CONCLUSION 1: Don’t trust in Snyder quality cinema!
CONCLUSION 2: Army of the dead movie franchises. 😐
Ok, let’s lighten the mood a little: