Another very nice 100 Word Story by Laurence Simon:
Woke Christmas Morning
People are protesting Charlie Brown Christmas because Franklin the black kid is forced to sit in a lawn chair on the other side of the table.
They’re also protesting Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer as bigoted.
And the song “Baby It’s Cold Outside” has run afoul of the Me Too Movement, who claim the lyrics are tantamount to date rape.
Not to mention that some radical Muslims get offended by people wishing them Merry Christmas at all.
I asked Santa for a baseball bat.
Aluminum? Wood? Carbon-fiber? As long as it’s not Whiffle.
I just want to beat myself senseless sometimes.

If I remember correctly, Snoopy hosts the dinner. So a DOG set up the seating. And I don’t recall it being assigned seating so Franklin chose the lawn chair.
I spent many years trying, in vain, to convince my BFF neighbors that we should have a party and serve toast popcorn pretzel sticks, jelly beans, and.. strawberry shakes? (I’ve never been sure about the drink)
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The whole meal plan sounds yuck. 😮
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Heartburn for sure. And no one but me would “get it”. One Halloween, I wore a sheet with a ton of eyeholes, carried a pillowcase “candy bag”, and kept saying “I got a rock” as I pulled one out of my bag. NO ONE knew I was Charlie Brown. Am I really the only one who identified with those characters??
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Dunno how big a thing the Peanuts were/are in America. I guess from today’s perspective they are terribly non-PC and full of existential angst for the stupid younglings.
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They were massive during my youth. But, yeah..times have changed.
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They always had this certain 50s and 60s flair, I know. But in Germany we only knew them from the newspaper cartoons anyway.
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It was a big deal that some cable company bought the rights to the Peanuts holiday specials and they wouldn’t be on broadcast tv this year – for probably the 1st time ever. I thought I read that the company agreed to single showings on broadcast but then some barely known, non holiday, Peanuts shows were on. I don’t know if I misread the news article or missed the holiday ones. They usually air on CBS and I rarely watch that channel.
There is (was?) a chain of Schultz “museums”. I passed one every night but it closed before I reached its location so I never checked it out.
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I once heard the theory that the introduction of Snoopy reigned in the moral bankruptcy and impending end of The Peanuts.
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Really? I don’t know if I’ve seen any pre-Snoopy Peanuts!
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Neither do I but I’ve heard Snoopy was an afterthought by Schulz when he ran into a creative blockade.
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Cool!
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