Woke Xmas Morning

Another very nice 100 Word Story by Laurence Simon:

Woke Christmas Morning

People are protesting Charlie Brown Christmas because Franklin the black kid is forced to sit in a lawn chair on the other side of the table.

They’re also protesting Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer as bigoted.

And the song “Baby It’s Cold Outside” has run afoul of the Me Too Movement, who claim the lyrics are tantamount to date rape.

Not to mention that some radical Muslims get offended by people wishing them Merry Christmas at all.

I asked Santa for a baseball bat.

Aluminum? Wood? Carbon-fiber? As long as it’s not Whiffle.

I just want to beat myself senseless sometimes.


  1. If I remember correctly, Snoopy hosts the dinner. So a DOG set up the seating. And I don’t recall it being assigned seating so Franklin chose the lawn chair.

    I spent many years trying, in vain, to convince my BFF neighbors that we should have a party and serve toast popcorn pretzel sticks, jelly beans, and.. strawberry shakes? (I’ve never been sure about the drink)

    Liked by 1 person

      • Heartburn for sure. And no one but me would “get it”. One Halloween, I wore a sheet with a ton of eyeholes, carried a pillowcase “candy bag”, and kept saying “I got a rock” as I pulled one out of my bag. NO ONE knew I was Charlie Brown. Am I really the only one who identified with those characters??

        Liked by 1 person

        • Dunno how big a thing the Peanuts were/are in America. I guess from today’s perspective they are terribly non-PC and full of existential angst for the stupid younglings.


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