A big shoutout to your fellow blog-reader leendadll for sending me this exciting fake news:

I’m so jealous again! Wow man, a president like this … life as an American citizen must be all kinds of wonderful! Yes? I mean, defeating a fake news pandemic that doesn’t exist and is all China’s fault in the first place, and is easy to shake off after you get infected yourself.

I call that an American success story! Only possible in God’s own country and with the perfect president! What other great leader was able to do similarly supernatural things? Kim Jong-il. I predict it won’t take long now and Trump will reach a similar god-like status! We all wish him nothing but happiness and success.