Moarning Tasteful Peepelz
Hey, don’t run away! Plz don’t. I know you’re not interested in that geeky Linux stuff … you’ll never understand all that shit anyway. So why read boring af crappy propaganda articles in a stupid little shitblog?
Exactly for you I write this!
Also for fellow Linux users, for the more hardcore traditional penguins. Because I think they are thinking as wrong as you do. So everybody sit down your bum and fukn read this! Ok?
See, just one or two days ago an idea manifested in my brainthingie. It was slowly brewing in my head, since months. Without me ever noticing I might be onto something here. Maybe even a revolutionary idea? We’ll see … and you’ll be the judge: You supposed n00bs and you old xers as well.
You remember I wrote in this blog quite often how mature the Linux environment is these days, and how easy to install and operate. Which is an undeniable fact, everybody must admit. Yes, you too, Karmi! 😉 And since everything is so easy-peasy these days and many timers simpler than your Windows … and you’re using Windows like a pro … shouldn’t you be able to use a reasonable Linux even more pro-like, with even less effort and less problems?
I think so! Really. No, I don’t even merely think so, I fukn KNOW so!
As everybody who installed one of the more hip and fashionable Linux OSes will happily comfirm. Installation of Linux Mint 20? 10 minutes and you’re done. Without any geekery and computer skills. All you need to know is your name. Not even that, your nom de plume, your gangsta name, your avatar name is completely enuff. That’s why Orca Flotta – a pure figment of fantasy – is a long-established user of many Linux distros. Eventhough she doesn’t even have a credit card and is not a good target for ad-campaigns. Because in Linux nobody cares about selling you anything or finding out anything about you.
That aside, back on topic: New Linux users on Mint (for example), how hard was it and how long did it take you to become productive in your new operating system? Not very long, right? Actually the most stuff works just like you knew it from Windows, using mouse and keyboard to achieve the same things, achieve the same stuff, get to more or less the same results.
Writing a letter to your granny. No need to first purchase MS Office and type in your secret code. You’ve found a complete office suite pre-installed and ready to use directly in the menu. Also a video player, an image manipulation program, a browser, an emailer and many many more. Software worth thousands of Woolongs, all there for you, directly at your fingertipps … and easy to use. Mouse/keyboard does the trick, you know. 😉
So what’s the catch, you ask?
Good question. A question that deserves an answer. The catch is that Linux (Mint or otherwise) ain’t Microsoft Windows. *Shriek!* Yes, I know. Shocking. Neither is it Apple’s MacOS. *Gasp!* 😮
So, but now the good thing, hear the gleeful message of joy: It doesn’t matter! Not being WinMac doesn’t mean it must be more complicated than those two behemoths of the computing world.
Of course you can typing on the novel of the 21st century 5 minutes after you’ve completed the install of your Linux distro, yes, but don’t expect you’re such an expert as you’ve become in the last 30 years of using various Microsoft and Apple products. That would be absurd. Linux is all sorts of cool, even kinda magical, but sorry to inform you: My Little Pony isn’t real. Unicorns, yes, every time and every day. But unicorns aren’t as magical as My Litte Ponys’ friendship. For now we gotta do with the friendship and light magick touch of Linux … which is more than enough. Believe me.
But I digress. Back in medias res: As we’ve established already, Linux ain’t WinMac, it is its own thing. Not worse but better, easier to grasp for human beings, penguins and unicorns as well. You don’t need to be clever to learn/get used to it, you don’t need to be a geek to understand the file system. In Win/Mac you’re dealing with much more complex shit every fukn day, so please allow yourself to do some stupid mistakes in the beginning, give yourself some days/weeks/months, depending on your usage.
In so far I really don’t believe in n00bs, I don’t believe in you having devolutionized into little toddlers when you installed Linux on your computer. You’re still the awesome, more or less competent, adult computer user you’ve been 10 minutes ago.
But you’re even better than 10 minutes ago. You’ve installed a Linux distro on your computer! That means something. You’ve done something 97% of worldwide computer users have never done and will never achieve. But you did it! And let me tell you, this was already the most hard part, the crux, the make-it-or-break-it hurdle on the way to your Linux success story.
You’re not a n00b! The last time you was a n00b was when you switched on your first computer, 10, 20, 30, 40 years ago. Since then you’ve been a new user various times. For example every time Microsoft came up with a new Windows version. And you managed to make yourself homely in those environments.
It’s even easier than generation jumps in Windows, since you can choose or customize a desktop environment that fits you like a glove. Pretty personal stuff here. But not important in the first few days. You get your standard Mint with Cinnamon DE and I promise you’ll be a success in that environment. You may choose to go on and develop further, create your own habitat, or stick with where you are now and just enjoy your Linux as it is. Because, admitttedly, it’s not bad. Pretty darn good actually.
And that’s why I don’t believe in n00bs! Not in their existence and not in the necessity to shower them in special care and chaperone them around and give them all the prefabricated care bears like they are toddlers.
And once you got behind that concept, once you accepted the fact that you’re not a teenager and Linux ain’t your prom ball sweetheart, you’re ready to take your own decisions. Once you’ve accepted that you’re a fully formed adult, responsible for your own actions, you’ll see – already after a few days – there is no danger in trying out an ArchLinux derivative. The super friendly Endeavour springs to mind. Going from 3 desktops to 9 or so. In that range I’m quite sure you’ll find the legendary glove-like fitting desktop, the one for you. 😉