Being South African

Mornin’ friendlies,

uh, ugh, the title is already wrong, even wronk! Me be no saffa, only residing here, but nevertheless sharing their biggest problem: Water? No, not really. The dams and reservoirs are full enuff to get us thru the summer … if we behave and use this precious resource sparingly. So just sacrifice about 50% of our plants and plan on laying bricks instead of having a lawn and we’ll be fine.

Much more pressing and bothersome is the eternal electricity crisis. Fukn Eskom seems always to be billions of Woolongs short and their power plants failing left and right due to no or wrong maintenance. So I made it may daily habit to check the website of our state owned utlity …

LoadShedding
But what if?

LOL. 🙂 Thats all nice and fair but what if? What if one of the coal-powered power plants fails or gets suddenly switched off because the coal got wet or some manager has a beef with gov’mt and needs a (couple) new BMW(s) for his wife(s) or anything else unforeseen and unplanned (as if anybody would ever make a plan that reaches further into the future than the next 2 minutes anyway), we’ll never get to see the website switching to “Loadshedding in progress”. Because we have no electricity to switch on our computers or charge our smartypants phones and therefore can’t see it. :/ So that’s why most blackouts happen out of the blue and catch us by surprise.

It’s almost funny, when you in the mall, super market or at the grocers. Lights go out, nobody shocked anymore but everybody goes “Eish!” 10 secs later lights and freezers  go on again, because most good stores and malls have generators by now, and commerce commences as usual.

Eish! = South African slang for Yikes!

You kinda fuked when on the road tho. Standing at crossroads, waiting  for green … BØØM! Darkness. Eish again. Your ETA has just been delayed into eternity. :/ Fortunately South African traffic “planners” never cared much about traffic lights and we are used to treat every crossroad like a 4-way-stop. It’s a joy to observe how quickly people adjust to gov’mt fails.

https://www.thenational.ae/image/policy:1.837608:1552735269/334676606_0-12.jpg?f=16x9&w=1200&$p$f$w=7a0e07f

Sometimes I’m not so sure if we really do need those gov’mt clowns in the first place.

Fortunately my trek to the gym thru 2 subsuburbs of our suburb only consists of 3 “sets of robots” (traffic lights at intersections), so hardly an inconvenience.

 

6 comments

    • Yeah, lots. Gimme a second, Neil, to gather my thoughts:
      + cost of living
      + weather
      + nobody stressing you
      + everybody is nice
      + SA is Rugby World Champion
      + You can do whatever you fukn fancy
      + we have whales, sharks and penguins
      + the scenery is beautiful
      + the concept of time has no meaning here
      + it’s not fukn Germany!
      + in Germany we’d have to live in a micromini apartment and struggle to pay the rent, here we own a little house
      + in Germany we’d need to use public transportation, here we can fuk about in cool ancient cars
      + we don’t pay taxes here
      + it’s not fukn Europe!
      + Russia and China, India and Brazil are our friends
      + we’re feeling at least 20 years younger since we’re here

      – nobody can be bothered to do a decent job or at least do it in a reasonable time frame, just because you’re a stuck-up German and paid them well 😮
      – results don’t matter
      – they talk a lot and give you many stories about their greatness but they won’t communicate like grown-ups, give you any real info or stay true to their word

      … and many more, mostly positive reasons.

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        • “Every one I have spoken too have painted it as an awful place.”

          The question is: Were they ever here, did they experience the awfulnes themselves, or do they just know how awful it is from the media? I’ve heard from people that I’m as good as dead since the gov’mt sends out black killer troops to kill all whities. LOL

          SA can be an awful place, a living hell. If you’re black, uneducated, unemployed, there is not much joy for you. Even worse if you’re a woman. 😮

          Fortunately we’re poor but we don’t have anyone to care about, no liabilities. Our fridge is always well stocked so we have some disposable money for little luxuries here and there.Like sinking a lot of money into nonsensical cars and eating quite a lot of sushi and affording an expensive gym membership. 🙂

          Also it’s always a question of your personal behaviour. If you’re wandering the townships after dark, maybe an expensive camera dangling from your neck, you could as well carry a big sign that says: VICTIM!

          That’s also the two sides of freedom: On one hand I can drive around in an unregistered vehicle and get away with it, but so does the little shit who breaks into our house and steels our laptops. 😐

          Like

          • Over 30 years I have spoken to 4 men all of whom lived and worked there. They all said very similar to your statement. Media are nearly always negative. I always think there are 2 sides to every story. I imagine you have some skills in looking after yourself.

            Liked by 1 person

            • Hardly. Else I would be a milionaire, not such a fukn embarrassment for my parents, had a bigger house and would drive a super duper new Mercedes … oh, yes, and I’d have 3 – 4 kidz as well, and a healthy husband. And I wouldn’t be such a sloppy hippie and dress more nicely and wouldn’t fight so much and and and …
              My super duper skillz in looking after myself manifested themselves in my being alive after, like, 20 years here at the cape. Oh, and also I pooped today. 😉
              Not being dead and having a healthy digestive system. \o/ YAY Me! \o/

              Like

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