Say, Why No O@tMs Anymore?

What? But no, that’s not even true!

I’m generally writing my O@tM (Orca at the Movies) column like clockwork after each and every movie I/we watchered. Really! And I will continue to do so. If you like it or not. 😉 It’s just that the movie output in the last couple years became more and more disappointing and hardly ever reaching the standard of old blockbuster times. And we … we just don’t watch every dreck anymore. 😐

The magic – so it seems – is gone.

Danny DeVito, Danny Elfman, Michael Keaton, Colin Farrell, Derek Frey, Rick Heinrichs, Ehren Kruger, Chris Lebenzon, Deobia Oparei, Roshan Seth, Ben Davis, Eva Green, Joseph Gatt, Frank Bourke, Sharon Rooney, Ragevan Vasan, Finley Hobbins, Nico Parker, and Zenaida Alcalde in Dumbo (2019)
Is Disney that desperate already?

And with the magic went the fun, with more wokeness my desire to review any of the new brand of movies, dwindled away. Is it the fault of media outlets like Netflix and other video on demand thingies? No, I guess not. We can honestly say that not every Netflix “original” movie is the bees knees but at least they show the willingness to take on some risky projects.

James Earl Jones, Forest Whitaker, Wen Jiang, Felicity Jones, Diego Luna, Ben Mendelsohn, Alan Tudyk, Donnie Yen, Riz Ahmed, and Abrey Steve in Rogue One (2016)
Not a great movie by any means, hardly worth a mention. Still the best Star Wars movie in the Disney era. :/

And since I hardly ever go to  a real movie theater anymore but wait for the movies to become available on Blu-ray it makes really no difference for me. No matter if a multimegabudget Star Wars shitfest or a little indy production, hubby and me will watch them all on the same 24″ computer screen.

So if it’s not the way we consumate movies what is it then?

Will Smith, Alan Tudyk, Navid Negahban, Numan Acar, Marwan Kenzari, Naomi Scott, Mena Massoud, and Nathaniel Ellul in Aladdin (2019)
When Will Smith’s CGI blueface becomes the most important part of the movie, I don’t need to watch it!

As I’ve already said the quality isn’t up to par with earlier works anymore. The problem is system imminent. I even guess the more money they pump into their movies, the worse they become. And my stone-old husband as well as his fresh-faced teenager bride are slowly becoming too old to have patience with incoherent illogical, badly thought out and written screenplays, lots of nonsense CGI circus, SJW feely touchy crap, post-modern feminism, and all the various agendas and political polemic behind nearly every movie these days.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)
Is this the largest embiggenized Gojira ever?

Also the fact that you can hardly watch any stand-alone movie anymore. They are all franchised products now, either prequels or sequels, or part 23 of a 4-part saga’s 7th true-to-canon-continuation. It’s fukn confusing. Was that black muscle dude an Avenger or an X-man, Marvel or DC … or a mutant?

Liam Neeson, Emma Thompson, Tim Blaney, Chris Hemsworth, Tessa Thompson, and Kumail Nanjiani in Men in Black: International (2019)
MiB was a surprise hit that should’ve never become a franchise. But H-wood just made another flick. 😦

All I know is that I fell asleep during the last Avengers movie (the one where half our planet’s population was turned into dusty clouds for whatever reason) and now they expect me to get all excited about some obscure Endgame? (I guess that’s in the same franchise/universe, no?) Thx but no thx. I’ve lost the plot, as they say so correctly.

Endgame
Please don’t expect an O@tM about this flick.

Can’t we have any decently entertaining movies anymore, please? I mean movies that are as visceral stunning as intellectually satisfying, movies that make you think for like half an hour after the end credits have rolled. Movies that are conversation starters, for whatever point. Remember Alexander anyone? Great director Oliver Stone really slipped and produced a trainwreck with that one. But what a glorious trainwreck it turned out to be! A trainwreck that was a joy to review and criticise.

Anthony Hopkins, Val Kilmer, Angelina Jolie, and Colin Farrell in Alexander (2004)
A really bad flick, but still thousand times better than anything coming out in the last 10 years.

Why? Because Stone had a vision! And he did many things  absolutely correct, even great, with Alexander. Other things, unfortunately the majority of things, he lost control over, trusted his bad casting choices and the ability of his actors to not make a mess of their scenes. But you could see and feel the effort and goodwill that flowed into every single scene. However, Alex ended up a shitty flick.

Zachary Levi in Shazam! (2019)
Not as clever/funny as it should have been. And then you realize thisn shit was one of the best movies of the year. 😦

In the year 2019, in contrast, Alexander would be celebrated as the bestest movie ever … and they only would be able to get to Oiver Stone’s results after 100 million woolongs worth of reshoots.

So, thats it in a nutshell: Orca is an adult now and lost the patience to deal with deliberate crap.

David Harbour in Hellboy (2019)
The first two Hellboys were works of love by a really dedicated and talented Guillermo del Torro. The third one is a confused money-making vehicle. 😦

 

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