“Put Your Data in the Cloud, It’s Safe!” They Said.

Faulty database script brings Salesforce to its knees

Faulty production script gave users access to all their company’s Salesforce data.

Salesforce
It’s so refreshing to work with profeshunalz for once. :/

Good morning my lovely weirdos,

I hope none of you Thar She Blows! readers is trusting/using the cloud to store their personal data! You may use it for all kinds of gaga shit, blogs and stuffz BUT NOT for business and personal data! FFS DON’T BE STUPID!!!

Particularly now in these times of always cheaper storage solutions.

No, I’m not telling you to convince your wise bosses to flee from the cloud but I’m concerned about your personal shit. Because that is Your Shit! Your Business, Your Concern! Not the concern of agencies with 3-letter acronyms. And of nobody else neither.

May I show you a sweet and cheap alternative, please?

SalesforceAlt

This is Orca’s personal cloud. It’s cheap, it’s safe, and I can add to it anytime I want. One trip to the local mall and I have more storage space than I could even imagine. And the best thing is, my cloud even works when my ISP goes bust or some Portuguese fisherman or South African gardener cuts the fibre connection or whatnot. We may be out of internet but we’ll still have countless hours of movies and music to consume.

So, pleeze peepels, before you’ll find your case in some statistic about data breaches n shit, get some USB flash drives and external hard drives and live a happy life forever!

So off to the gym with me, laterz

xoxox

 

6 comments

  1. Hahah! Good idea about the memory chips. I have as little personal info and business data as possible on the Interwebs in general. It’s just too accessible and subject to breakdown.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, it is indeed. Everything on the internet is approachable by almost everybody. It doesn’t need a super clever hacker but as the case Salesforce showed, it only needs a stupid network monkey and, voila, your company’s ultrasecret secrets are readable by your fiercest competitor. I have no idea why so many people are in the cloud, privately. 😮 And those “memory chips” as you called them are everything but a new idea, or a good idea. These things are around since the early pleistocene, if not earlier. And their bigger brothers, external hard drives are around even longer. When we leave for Germany in two weeks, we’ll have all that shit with us, on our persons. And 2 or 3 backup versions hidden somewhere in the house and garage. Noone must know the plans for our homebuilt nuke, you see? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Lolz… nothing is safer than a disk within your grasp. Nothing is more “unsafe” than a disk somewhere in the world in someone elses computer where you have no idea who can access it. Amazing how many ppl buy that cloud-crap. Sorry for swearing, Orcs.

    Liked by 1 person

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