O@tM: Girls und Panzer – Der Film

GirlsUndPanzer

Ohayo!

Y’all remember the 2012 anime series Girls und Panzer, right? It only lasted one season, and despite the girls being all cute af and the panzers very realistic (another kind of fanservice I guess) that one season was quite enough. Yes, it was fun seing all the Japanese prejudices and racial slurs coming together in such a nicely packaged bundle but in the end we were quite Pfff about it. Hubby and me forgot GuP almost immediately after watching it and never cared to see if there was more coming out of that fun little anime.

19
Tanks in the sunset: So fukn ramontic!

But indeed there was. First installment was a full-length movie, made in 2015. Of course in typical fashion it was called “Der Film” as a reminiscence to their German allies in WW2. It’s awkward for us Germans but the Japanese obviously dont share that kind of sentiment and shame about our worst parts of shared history. Anyhoo, this movie is what I’ll be bitching about today if you don’t mind.

GirlsUndPanzerPoster
GuP now in full length!

Ooari girls academy faces closer once again and the Tankery club girls must participate in another match to save their school from permanent closure!

IMDb: 7.1

26
Ooops, that must never happen!

Yes, anime is made for a special interest audience, a group that is almost exclusively made up from boys, aged 10 – 100, living in momma’s basement and kinda nerdy. And anime like GuP, which only touches the usual high school and extra-curricular club activities in a peripheral manner but puts like 99% of its effort into the re-creation of tank battles is hardcore in that aspect. Of course hubby was like “WOW! We gotta watch this!” when he found out about the existence of this movie.

1
They didn’t promise too much: This is 2 hours of animated panzer and girls porn!

The characters are only marginally fleshed out and developed, same with the drama outside of the battle tournaments. Everything is just a vehicle to show off the pretty realistically modeled tanks of all nations in glorious action and almost 3D-like fashion.

2
All teams are Japanese, of course, but representing different nationalities. Here we see the “Brits” in action.

So indeed I was a bit like *Gulps when I saw the runtime was like 2 hours. 😮 For what? The minimal and very generic storyline, the twodimensional characters? Yes, after like10 minutes into GuP I was asking myself if the movie will start anytime soon or not.

4
“Panzer Vor!”

Turns out, it was the wrong question. The movie was already in full swing, it just took them, like, an eternity to get to the soapie drama parts. Don’t get me wrong, they were also done adequately nice and the girls were super adorable n all. It just isn’t that interesting for the avised target group of special interest audience.

5
“Fire!”

GuP is more about the Panzers than about the Girls. They are merely a bonus, even though some of them had lovely quirks and character treats, so grown up, adult audiences could enjoy this movie as well … to an extent.

8
The movie shows us real stategies and tactics of tank battle.

WATCH IT? Depends. If you’re a typical anime fanboi, then yes, absolutely! General audiences could do with the whole thing shrinked down into a typical 24-minute long episode.

9
Are those the “Chinese”?

CONCLUSION: GuP – Der Film is a refreshing exception from the usual anime fodder. Interpersonal drama, love stories, school affairs, all that what usually makes the framework of a typical anime, is pushed aside by big bulky and very expertly animated tanks. Can you believe they had an military adviser for the production of GuP? That’s fun to watch for a couple minutes, rather tiring over the run of 2 fukn hours!!!

14
And after a battle everybody meets at the onsen. 😉

This was basically the only review of the movie I could find on YT:

13
Probably a “German” or “Russian” tanker crew.

Oh, and our very knowledegeable senpai Arkada made a review about the series. Much better and more interesting and learned than “whatever” fukboi had to say in the other video …

Now you know what it’s all about. =^.^=

20
No, that was basically all of it.

And here now finally – I know you’ve all waited for this with baited breath – the 10 hours version of Katyusha, as sung by Japanese anime high schoolers:

Adorable, right?

23
Lesson to be learned from this anime: Never give up!

 

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