More British … Humour?

takeoff

It just won’t stop. The pair May/Johnson is a gift that keeps on giving …

MayJohnson

A Very British Farce

Mark J. Doran wrote this very British farce. (Publish here with his permission.)

SERGEI: I’m not dead!
MORTICIAN: What?
CUSTOMER: Nothing – here’s your ninepence.
SERGEI: I’m not dead!
MORTICIAN: Here – he says he’s not dead!
CUSTOMER: Yes, he is. The ‘Times’ said so. March 12th. Front page. Trust me: he’s dead.
SERGEI: I’m not!
MORTICIAN: He isn’t.
CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon. It was a Novichok nerve agent. There’s no treatment, and no recovery is possible.
SERGEI: It was just the prawns, that’s all! I’m getting better!
CUSTOMER: No, you are not. It was ‘military grade’, 8 times stronger than VX. You were dead in seconds.
MORTICIAN: Oh, I can’t take him like that – it’s against regulations.
SERGEI: How’s my daughter? And what about my pets?
CUSTOMER: Oh, don’t be such a baby.
MORTICIAN: I can’t take him …
SERGEI: I feel fine! I want to go back to Russia!
CUSTOMER: Oh, do us a favor …
MORTICIAN: I can’t.
CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won’t be long. We’ve someone coming over …
MORTICIAN: I think I’ll write a letter to the ‘Times’.
CUSTOMER: No you bloody won’t. Look at the trouble the last one caused.

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