So You’ve Got a Computer …

… and godspeed to you. Since you don’t know exactly but you have a hunch this one might be far from ideal. And when you look at it and try to switch it on it takes, like, foreveeeer to boot up … into a Windows XP. 😦

Adopt your doggie from this kennel.

What do we gather from that tidbit of information? Your “new” machine is not inside the ten-years-guaranteed-by-Orca zone but at its heart works a 32-bit processor. And your RAM, OMfG, only 1GB. 😮 You don’t like that, do you? Well, nobody does. But STOP! Don’t throw that shit on the garbage heap! Not yet. It is what you got. Look and feel the keyboard: So much nicer than nowaday’s silly chicklet things. That’s kool. 🙂 That alone is a reason to keep your poor lappy alive. Comes in handy when typing out the proverbial Novel of the 21st Century. And we’ll make it work and a useful member of your machine pool again. By putting Linux on it!


But, hey, not just any Linux. This is a case for the experts from the Puppy Linux family. And as it so happens right now I’m kinda testing a Pup on my slowest and most stupid desktop computer. And it’s a funky pain. And it looks like a freak show.

Puppy Linux is an operating system and lightweight Linux distribution that focuses on ease of use[4] and minimal memory footprint. The entire system can be run from RAM with current versions generally taking up about 210 MB,[5] allowing the boot medium to be removed after the operating system has started. Applications such as AbiWord, Gnumeric and MPlayer are included, along with a choice of lightweight web browsers and a utility for downloading other packages. The distribution was originally developed by Barry Kauler and other members of the community, until Kauler retired in 2013.[6] The tool Woof can build a Puppy Linux distribution from the binary packages of other Linux distributions.[7]

And it’s fast. So fast!

This is Xenialpup, the new hotness among all them pupies. You can just run it from a USB thumbdrive or CD. It loads in full directly into your sparse RAM and therefore is as fast as your computer allows. Of course if you like it you might also install it. The option is there.
Xenial’s email solution is called Claws Mail and seems to be kinda clone of Thunderbird. Very good.
The word processor is not Libre Office but the good old Abiword. It works. And isn’t a handbrake. From your office solution …
… to your prefered browser, Xenialpup is very versatile and kinda the odd kid out by choice of its original components. PaleMoon is all the rage as a super secure browser right now, in so far you’ll be right at the forefront of the geekyness. But, as always, if you’re not happy with Xenialpup’s original selection you can always install other apps. No reason why it shouldn’t work with Firefox or any fork of Chrome.
Xenialpup even has some tricks up its sleeve to make your troubled life easier. It’s easy to set this fully fledged and complete system all up to your location and personal settings.

Sneeky loves his Xenialpup:

VERDICT: Orca don’t like it. Of course. She doesn’t like nearly anything. That doesn’t mean Xenialpup is a bad Linux per se. Quite the contrary. Particularly with older hardware this pupper will shine! But Orca’s machine pool is still fresh enough to handle more modern, prettier systems without a problem.

My recommendation is to use Xenialpup on your desperate hardware, on the only computer you could find to test Linux on. On that poor excuse for a ‘puter you can run it as your daily rider. It’s far better than any Winows anyway. But if you’re not that desperate please don’t care about this shit but go with the fancy schmancy Linux Mint. That’s a proper Linux! 😉


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