They did it. They really really did it!

Do they have no shame? No brains? No taste? No sense of good and healthy business?

Marvel at this shit:

Holy fuckaroly!

Hasbro, purveyors of fine toys for gentlemen of every age group, are really trying to produce and market a Vice Admiral Holdo, a.k.a. Pinky, a.k.a. Gender Studies, action figure.

SHRIEK! 😮

At least they aren’t getting into debt for it, they are doing a kickstarter campaign. Needless to say the kickstarter is faaaaar off reaching its goal, so with some luck we’ll never have to see Laura Dern in her granny costume in toy stores.

Losing your basic level human skills and producing a bad bad movie is one thing. It happens more often then you’d think, and particularly Disney ain’t no stranger to brainfarting of the rather costly sort. Licensing the right to produce toys is a clever move to make at least some profit from a bad franchise. But forking out millions and actually buying the license to mass-produce unwanted toys of hated characters, that needs a special sort of pigheadedness. Doesn’t it, Hasbro?

Producing Jar Jar Binks toys is ok, there may be fun in punching his stupid face and blowing the figure it up with fireworks or whatever. Understandable. And if all else fails he’ll still make a cool PEZ dispenser:

Buuut fukn Vice Admiral Pinky? She’s not even bad. It’s just her totally ill-conceived, badly written, illogical character that makes people go Pffft! So we don’t even feel like blowing her up or experiencing some kind of joy, ripping the stupid purple wig off her noggin.

Contrary to Vice Admiral Gender Studies these guys had fun with wigs, and contrary to SW Ep. VIII we had fun with the B52’s. Lotsa fun actually!

Holdo is a null-character, the worst, most boring character in  a bad movie full with bad characters. Purchasing her Hasbro figure is a bad investment. The play factor tends towards zero and she will never even have sentimental value or be the hidden pride in a collector’s collection. Quite the contrary: Due to characters like her all the rest of the SW toys will lose their value as well. Thank you guys, you went far enough. We all had our hearty laugh, can we go back to serious Star Wars business now?

… or let that stinkin’ franchise finally die in peace …