Not for the Faint Hearted

Although this graphical illustration of how a wisdom teeth is removed hardly comes even close to the brutal bloody truth in RL.


Ugh, it’s bad enough. Doesn’t even closely match my personal experience tho, which went down like this:

Doctor: “X-ray looks very good. If you’ve got about 10 minutes time, we can do it right now.”

Me, never ever having had any bad experience with my teeth, seeing no reason why it should be any worse this time around but wanting to get rid of the unusual tooth ache: “Yeah, sounds good.”

Doctor and me and the choir of assistants hi-fiving all around: “LET’S FUCKING DO THIS!!!!”


Doctor’s giving me all the necessary drugs n shit and starts working. With a normal pliers at first. 10 minutes come and go, doctor starts getting sweaty. Assistant cramps up while holding my mouth open, me groaning: “Nnnnngg!!!”

Half an hour later, doctor has turned into a sweaty puddle and looks all beaten and giving up on life: “Nurse Regina, please make the necessary calls and cancel all my other appointments for today!”

(Regina is actually a RL friend of mine, usually I don’t care about remembering medics’ names)

Me, feeling kinda special and embarrassed: “…oo… :)”


About 1 hour later, my mouth feels like torn apart, we’ve wasted the 3rd nurse by now and the boss shows signs of helplessness but tries to appear happy and positive with sweet me in his chair: “OK, more funny drugs for the lady. We need another X-ray and dig deeper.”

While I relax happily in my chair they make another X-ray of my dentistry and the doctor’s coming back with a sour face: “Ok, turns out on the fist X-ray your wisdom tooth was hiding yet another wisdom tooth. They are blocking themselves out mutually.”

Me: “Oh.”

Doc: “This is gonna turn into a real operation now. Sister, please bring me my bone saw!”

Me: “Uh oh. :o”


2 hours, a lot of pain and blood and fuglyness and curses and nerve wrecking machine noises and chiseling in my jawbone later … and me in a state of horror and almost falling unconscious. The doctor tells me to spit out and gargle. “We’re done here! All good now.”

Me, having lost  3 pints of blood (at least) but happy as a clam: “Wow, already? That wasn’t half bad. Thx very much doctor. Any hints on what I should do now?”

Doctor, earnest face: “Yes, take these pills. They will help you through the rest of the day and the night. Unfortunately it will be painful later, once the drugs have worn off. Oh, and avoid any sporty activities, anything that can bring up your blood pressure!”


Me, remembering my bicycle is waiting for me in front of the doc’s office: “Okeeeeee… Byee now.”

Knowing the ride home will be just 20 – 30 minutes, I decide to skip the doctor’s orders and ride home. Modern drugs are a wonderful thing. I’m happy and feel great and do the ride home in record time. On drugs time just fliiiiiiiies! Of course the evening and the following night turn out to be miserable. Spit some more blood and nearly OD on the painkillers.

Never ever in  my life did I have anything but the occasional tooth filling done to my teeth. Not before today’s operation and not afterwards. Lucky me. But that day was like totally awful. Not even removing my mandibles was this bad.





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