So Funny it Hurts.
Found this list in one of our fave political blogs, The Duran:
“We brokered a deal” = western-backed illegal forced regime change in Ukraine
Russian aggression = Russia resisting western hegemony
Russia’s invasion of Ukraine = collapse of Ukraine’s sovereignty after western backed coup
Occupation of Crimea = Vast majority of voters expressing self-determination
Propaganda = what others do
Syrian moderates = terrorists backed by the west
“Assad must go” = what the west says when a leader refuses to comply
Putin’s useful idiot = a person who thinks too much and refuses to tow the western narrative
NATO projecting stability = the military alliance deciding Russia is the enemy to justify its existence
Democracy promotion = informing the targeted country you are about to be bombed
No fly zone = when the west bombs a country to promote democracy
No bomb zone = only the west’s bombs are allowed to be dropped there
International law = laws the west flaunts with impunity
Law of the seas = no Chinese ships allowed
Putin is a thug = western leaders are effeminate
Get on with the job = Curtail any and all intellectual debate
Talking the country down = Trying to saving a failing society from total implosion
European refugee crisis = unintended consequence of western meddling in the Mid East
Israel’s security = illegal occupation of Palestinian land and meddling in affairs of neighbors
Weaponization of _______ = stupid phrase when nothing else comes to mind
Western NGOs = western paid fifth columnist to overthrow democratic governments
Anti-missile defense = attempt to neutralize Russia’s nuclear deterrent with a first strike
Russian Dissident = Russian Oligarch found with his hand in the till
Neocon = see Liberal Interventionist
Liberal Interventionist = see Neocon
War crime (2) = Civilian death caused by an official state enemy (e.g. Russia, Syria).
Collateral damage = Civilian death caused by the United States or its allies. (For civilian deaths caused by others, see “War crime (2)”.)
Agent of the Kremlin = Person revealing the truth about U.S. administration and its policies
“Regime X/Y/Z” = A sovereign government that refuses to submit to NATO diktat
Quantitative easing = West stealing wealth from the east with worthless paper
International community = Western imperialists and their followers
Western Democracy = Corporate controlled cabaret
Gaddafi killed people = Gaddafi took care of terrorism
Human Rights = The crying of crocodile tears over the mistreatment of human beings, unless they live in a country that buys western arms and fighter jets.
Barrel Bombs = The go to phrase when someone doesn’t give a damn about the Syrian people but still wants an argument
Propaganda Bullhorn = News outlet proving effective and providing an alternative source of information
Dictator = A leader who refuses to tow the U.S. line, and whose country the U.S. plans to destabilize and eventually bomb
Populism = 1. Politicians listening to their electorate, 2. Drop dead Marine Le Pen, Viktor Orbán, Frauke Petry, Lech Kaczynski and the rest of the Neo-Nazi gang.
The FBI acts for Russia = For the first time in the whole email saga the FBI looks as though justice may be a priority over politics
A ‘thermal event’ (Vauxhall Motors official, Zafira B fires, Parliamentary Inquiry) = They set on fire
Minsk was violated many times by the combined Russian-separatist forces = Russia and Eastern Ukraine continue to protect their citizens and defend their interests
Law of Unintended Consequences = A realignment of circumstances and events brought about by act of war or subversion that denies the perpetrator of and advantage.
Russian opposition leader Mr XYZ gave his opinion” (as reported in the West MSM) = Similar to the leader of the British Monster Raving Loony Party being the British opposition leader
Russia did it / Putin did it = Any undesired revelation of corruption, fraud or crime committed by Western neo-cons
Redsplaining = Explaining from a marxistic/cultural marxistic fashion, with no trace of logic, but still assuming that the explainer is right and everyone else in the room are stupid.
Russia is isolated = Russia is doing business with the rest of the non-World
Rebel = paid thug
Redspread = Leftist occupying larger part of the room with its views, disregarding the obvious absence of welcome.
Presstitute = Those news reporters who buy into the US propaganda
Dictatorship = Almost always used to refer to governments who stand in the way of Western interests. Never used for brutal regimes that the West likes.
Territorial Integrity of Ukraine = Western backed neo-fascist wars of aggression against Russian speakers.
Russia’s Provocative Movements = Standard procedures of moving equipment around ones own country
War = Peace
War Crime = Defending your country, and it’s democratically elected government, against US aggression
Moderate Syrian Rebel = Foreign fighters beheading civilians in the name of democracy (please ignore the fact that last week they were carrying the ISIS flag)
State Run Media = Any news organisation that has anything at all to do with Russia
Russian Interference in American Democracy = Non-Russian hacker leaking information which is vital to the public on high levels of corruption in US politics
Brexit Means Brexit = No one knows what the hell is going on
Islamic Terrorist = US Training, Saudi Brainwashing
They had a frank exchange of views = They couldn’t agree on anything
Intolerance will not be tolerated = The left has cancelled your right to free speech when it conflicts with their socialist agenda
Transitional Government = Regime change
Democratic elections = Process by which leaders are selected in various places other than the US
Hybrid warfare = Weasel words, indicating that the accuser has no proof whatsoever of any actual aggresion, but still needs to make the accusation
Syrian Ceasefire Deal = Everyone Put Their Weapons Away Except For NATO…and a few terrorists
Sexist = A wicked individual, someone who refuses to vote for Hillary Clinton (See also: America’s alliance with Saudi Arabia)
Neocon = A western jihadi, who wishes to bomb the world into a better future (see also: regime change)
Opposition Fighters = Bloody Thirsty Terrorists
“Russian hacker” = Colloquial (US): 1. Gremlin; boogeyman; mischievous imaginary troll; 2. A rhetorical device used to misdirect attention from embarrassing acts of political or ethical malfeasance.
“American interests” = A non-negotiable status quo that benefits Saudi Arabian investment and US global hegemony
“Peace and stability” = A phrase used by NATO to justify a never-ending aggressive military posture, regime change, and socio-political instability.
Putin’s Russia Is corrupt and dangerous = The Russia exploited by the west and internal traitors in the 1990s was corrupt and dangerous
Fact Finding Mission = Foregone Conclusion Combined With A Free Holiday
The Problem With RT = The Problem With Free Speech
THE TECHNOTYRANNICAL SOCIETY = “THE TECHNOLOGY WE CREATE WILL ULTIMATELY DETERMINE OUR FATE”- TYRANTS WILL USE TECHNOLOGY TO CONTROL AND DESTROY OTHERS.
Wikileaks is illegal = They caught us lying and we need to destroy Assange
Your definition of International law = Please change “flaunts” to “flouts.” You don’t really mean that the West “shows off” those laws.
Trump = A presidential candidate obnoxious enough to divert attention away from the most psychopathic American government ever.
The World = The 5 Eyes and a few Western European countries