O@tM: Zonbi asu (Zombie Ass – Toilet of the Dead)

***   W A R N I N G !!!   ***   If you had difficulties stomaching the farting scenes of Swiss Army Man then this Japanese horror flick ain’t for you.   ***   W A R N I N G !!!   ***

zonbi1

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2061869/?ref_=ttexst_exst_tt

Wracked with guilt over the suicide of her bullied sister, young karate student Megumi accompanies four older friends on a trip into the woods: smart girl Aya, her druggie boyfriend Také, full-figured model Maki, and nerdy Naoi. Things start to go badly when Maki finds a parasitical worm inside a fish – and wolfs it down, in the hope that it will keep her skinny. Her stomach later feels horrible and she relieves herself in an outhouse. The parasitic worm she ate had apparently laid eggs in her stomach and came out of in her diarrhea attack. Soon after, they are attacked by a crowd of poop-covered undead who emerge from the outhouse toilet Maki used. The group seeks refuge in the home of the strange Dr. Tanaka, who conducts experiments on the zombies and the parasites … and who has another fate in mind for the five strangers. Can Megumi’s karate help them escape, or will she have to rely on the liberating power of flatulence to defeat her demented captor?

IMDb: 4.7

zonbi6

Hubby downloaded this dreck and presented it to me full of pride about his wonderful geeky find in the treasure chest deep down in the depths of the darknet. It was hurtful to see the spark in his eyes glowing ever darker during the movie. 😦

zonbi2

Ok, if you read the synopsis you already know you’re in for a third rate shitshow, even less entertaining than the US presidential debates. And if you know what a heap of weird shit the director, Noboru Iguchi, usually makes you’ll know Zonbi Asu is even weirder and worserer. For usally his flicks are at least rated in IMDb’s lower 5 points zone while Zonbi Asu is stuck on an even lower 4.7.

zonbi3

And honestly, even as a conossieur of adolescent toilet jokes there is not much fun for you to find in this weirdo flick in which nothing seems to have been done right. Starting with the laughable script, totally unbelievable characters, bad acting, low-low production values, ridiculous CGI and puppetry and not even ending with that overall sense of uarrgs it leaves the audience with. Maybe if you’re a twelve y/o guy you might get some giggles out of Zonbi Asu; if you’re part of any other demographic you can forget about getting anything positive out of it.

zonbi4

I know that not everything coming out of Asian cinema is great. Particularly Japan has this unsavoury C-Movie culture of shamelessly fetish movies that’s far far more radical than all those wannabe “sexual education” flicks coming out of Germany and Sweden in the 60s and 70s. The Japanese, in typical fashion have perfected the art of perversion.

zonbi5

Anyway, knowing Noboru Iguchi, we know he’d fuck it up totally. He doesn’t even reach the low level of late 60s scandinavian schoolgirl porn flicks. We all know flicks that are so bad they are good again. Well … Zonbi Asu ain’t one of those. We all know movies that make you laugh unintentionally. Zonbi Asu ain’t one of those neither. And no, please nobody call this shit a “comedy”.

 

zonbi7

All that Zonbi Asu made us feel was the strong feeling of disgust, the overwhelming need to vomit. No, wait, not even that. The effects are too bad to physically invoke anything other than a huge question mark.

zonbi8

CONCLUSION: Zonbi Asu is a shitshow of the worst kind. It’s indeed a diarrhea show, quite literally. Best part of this movie is the Robert Rodrigues’ Grindhouse-inspired title sequence. This made me curious but soon my enthusiasm crumbled and faded away.

Watch it? NO! This flick isn’t even entertaining, despite all the right ingredients.

And no, the  flick isn’t even half as funny or shocking or anything as the trailers suggest. 😦

Fresh outta the Japanese cinema sewer … it even smells like it. Don’t believe anything they’re writing in the announcements. Yes, the director is a madman, an ass-fetishist and he has the worst toilet-obsessed imagination, but a good filmmaker he is not!

What the “experts” have to say:

 

Oh yes, Zonbi Asu is unfortunately available on Netflix if you’re so inclined. 😦

 

4 comments

    • Synopsis on IMDb sounds like some cheap teenager “drama”. You know these unneeded, totally artificial dramas about nothing. Models. *snort
      Why does a real talent like Winding Refn even waste time on shit like this? The Japanese kak was at least straightout trash, without any added big names and glossy veneer to cover up the stink. Guess I’m gonna watch it again right now … best flick for a 5 a.m. sleepy watching experience.

      Like

      • Ok, after being thru the IMDb propaganda attack I take it all back and state the contrary: Neon Demon might be Winding Refn’s best work yet!
        =^.^=

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s