“Whoa, that Orca! What a bitch. Ordering us to buy new computers. She totally gaga now or wot???”

Yes, sorry if I came across a bit harshly in this post about setting you up on Linux but hear me out please. It’s all for your best and the best of your recent computer. You’re using it right now to read this shit and we want it to stay able to do so, providing you with entertainment and pleasure … and Thar She Blows! as well. Yes, I know Orcablog is kinda the scourge on mankind but kinda nice, no? Anyhoo, whatever you’re doing on your computer, we don’t want to fuck that experience up for you.

Because your computer is your window to the outside world, your main means of communicating with Orca and receiving her signals. 😉 Nothing bad must happen to that wonderful most holy wondermachine of yours!

When I told you to get an old computer … well, I didn’t mean like THAT old! Jeeeze. 😦

That’s why I proposed to not touch your PC in any way but get a dedicated Linux machine to play and experiment on. Chances are you might fuck it up. And nobody wants that to happen to your good production machine. You need it for SL, for emails, for surfing the netz and for a lot of stuff that’s not my business. So, yes, leave that thing well alone, invest in some old piece of computing shit and let’s use that one. Ok?


You might even get away with a free computer. Remember when your mother or your sister (the less sexy, less intelligent, less talented, less awesome one) gave up on life and got one of those unspeakably useless iPads? Where is her old  PC now? Attic? Cool. Garage? Even cooler. Grab that one. But, ok, let’s ask her permission first, yes? Who knows, maybe her glorious porn collection is still saved away on that thing and she wants to keep that stuff. Is what normal people do. As hardcore xers we don’t have any need for physical sex since our operating system is so satisfying and orgyastic and gives us all we need. Anyway, take her HDD out of the computer and give it to her, and get yourself a dirtcheap new HDD for it.

Voila, PC for free! Or almost free. Let’s make it awesome now.

You’re welcome. =^.^=


P.S.: Starting tomorrow I will (hopefully) start a new totally ungeeky series about how to prepare a computer and install your first Linux system on it. In depth, in detail, in colour, and no fussing about.



    • LOL, I didn’t even know Haggis was a Macster. Oh, I’m so sorry for her. But she can be helped as well, just needs to find some cheapo PC desktop or laptop and put Linux on it. And voila, she’s a rockstar! She could also put Linux on her Mac but from what I hear those Macianers never wanna split from their Apple software.

      Liked by 1 person

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