And why not? I’m a woman. I can even uphold two contrary points of view at the same time, and defend both to the death. But I’d never do that because … I’m a woman and much too blasé to take anything seriously enough to get into real trubbel. Having enough unreal trouble already. 🙂 So, yes, I had another change of mind. And of heart. Pretty recently. In fact just about five minutes ago, which makes it even more exciting, no?
So, change of mind about what exactly? Come on, as if you wouldn’t know or at least have a hunch about it … of course about a topic that is very hot not only in my bloggy but everywhere around the computing world: LINUX.
Okay, once you’re finished with groaning and hurling into the bushes, may I ask for your individed attention please? This is important, at least for me it is, as it kinda marks nothing short of a revelation! My change of mind will ring in a new season, a new life, a betterer future for all of you! At least for the big portion of yous who feel like betrayed by Microsoft and trapped and wanna do the swap from Windows to Linux. Those of you who still dunno how to get started, don’t have the time to try out countless Linux distros and no patience for dysfunctional bullshit.
Neither have I. Well, errm, I have all the time in the world but no patience, not anymore. So we want a quick solution, a solution that just works out of the box, a solution that will stick with you for quite a while, actually as long as you fancy. So, listen up guys, here’s what you gonna do:
Just download LUBUNTU!!! Install it on your computer, be done with it and start working on your tan.
Yes, you heard me: Lubuntu. Don’t even bother with LXLE, LXQt, LXDE or any other lightweight distros. I don’t care if your computer is fairly decent and recent or outdated shit from the early pleistocene, and neither should you. And we shouldn’t care about nitpicking differences in between LXLE and any other ultralightweight systems. They are all rather “uncomfy” for when you’re used to more advanced shit but when you never had any Linux experience before they are just perfect. Lubuntu, as the granny of all lightweight distros, will run on your 2016 hardware as well as on your tyrannosaurus abacus, probably even a tad better. Why not LXLE? Because its still based on Ubuntu 14.04 while Lubuntu sits on a very modern 16.04 base. And because I say so, dammit! 😮 Will anyone finally trust me enough for once? Geez.
And really, let’s forget about your personal problems, nobody’s interested in those. For computing you need a computer, right. So if you have got a computer, any computer, you’re open for Linux business! You wanna keep Windows on a second partition? Does anybody look like we care? It’s manageable pretty easy, by the way – I might even help with with that task – but we won’t let those questions and problems sidetrack us and steal our time. We have one goal: Get your ass onto Linux! That’s our exclusive agenda, not saving your fukn Winblows from extinction. Save your data as you’d do anyway, right. And better take care you have an original Windows installation DVD handy for if you ever wanna switch back. But why would you wanna do such a stupid thing?
Neither do we care about any “beginners friendly” distros. If you got Lubuntu on your hardware you’ll see there’s no need for that stuff. You know how to use a mouse and a keyboard, right? So you know enough to work Lubuntu! What about the dreaded steep learning curve?, you might ask. What learning curve?, I reply with a counter question. Is there a learning curve to join kindergarten?
And now can we please focus on more important stuff pretty pleeze?
Lubuntu is so easy to operate, it’s like its being made for toddlers. Open the menu, find the software you wanna use, and fuking start being awesome! Everything you need for day to day operations is already preinstalled, the rest you can install with a single mouseclick. Would you be faster on a more advanced distro? Probably, after you tweaked the desktop to your liking and bended it to your workflow. But right now you’re too stupid to do so, Lubuntu isn’t made for that sorta shit … and you don’t have the time anyway. So forget about making your desktop wonderpretty. At least for now. You’re fukn on LINUX! That’s exciting enough as it is already. Pretty amazing really! So stop your whining! Everything will work in the primitive Lubuntu way as well so we don’t pay any attention to the Arch and KDE freakshows behind the curtain.
What about if I promise you, PROMISE!!!, that from the point in time you have the ISO file downloaded and put onto a bootable USB stick or DVD, until you start typing the first chapter of the novel of the 21st century, you won’t have spent more than 30 minutes of your valuable time?
How does that sound? Cool?
Ok, inevitable experts having their say as well. Let them: