German Breakfast

Superior bread … coz it’s white!

If you’re living in any anglistic country you obviously know how limited your choice of bread there is. It’s terrible, particularly for us spoiled Germans, if you have the choice between 3 different sorts of breads, just from a dozen different bakeries chemical labs. There is usually the plain old white sandwich, then a bit darker one with some sort of fibers  and intelligence built into it, and one that is even darker, almost looking like real bread … and one ultra white bread but with supposedly a whole buttload of superior healthy shit baked in. This in order to trick the brats into eating healthy … well, “healthy” according to the food processing industry. Because the poor little rugrats would become uncontrollable monsters if they had to eat something like real bread. Imagine Obama’s reaction when told by Putin that Sorry, no, he can’t station his missile launchers on Crimea. Yes, it would be that fugly! And no matter which bread you choose it’s all so squishy squashy soft like a sponge, your teeth are getting bored and your taste buds will die a horrible, slow death.

Oh, yes, and if your supermarket is a good one they have a counter with freshly baked bread, which is mostly their own interpretation of “Italian” and “French” specialty breads, which are indeed nothing like the original products. The South African ciabatta doesn’t even look like it’s Italian namesake. But terribly expensive they are. And fresh. Fortunately they never dare counterfeiting German breads because that would end in a terrible catastrophe of global scale. They wouldn’t know where to source the flour and the multitude of grains in the first place, so they leave it be. Good call.

Low G.I. or low IQ?

Over the years we somehow arranged to survive on English sandwiches, from time to time with the so-called health bread thrown into our diet. But lately my local convenience store stocks some “German” breads. Whoa, that shit is even more expensive than the usual Italian and French and health bread stuff, but is indeed so much betterer. Of course it’s locally produced, went thru the chemical mill, will never go stale, and is still a far cry off the real German breads, but at least they have some different sorts to chose from. And it’s lekker! 😉

Haha, and of course the German bread has the Stamp of Approval from the South African Halaal council. See how nice and tolerant we krauts supposedly are?

Anyhoo, hubby can’t be bothered, but his health concerned, yoga-practicioning and Bodhisattva-loving hippiepunk wifey lurves her Deutsches Brot. And since the ZAR/€ur conversion rate is rather favourable right now I’m getting the one or other paket of Schwarzbrot every time I shop at our neigborhood convenience store. 😉

Here, have a peek at my typical Deutsches Frühstück:


German bread is particularly nice with cottage cheese.

Oooooh yumm!!! See the grains? See the dough, like it’s almost black? Once you go black you never go back! Doesn’t that look like healthy and very good for your metabolism? I can assure you that it is! Very effective for strong bowel movement. If you’re not used to have real bread in your diet you only need to eat one slice, maybe have one coffee with it or smoke a cigarette if you’re so inclined, and half an hour later you run don’t walk to the restroom. 🙂


  1. that’s the stuff that my outside barn wall is built from probably stronger
    I’ve lived for some years in Germany I NEVER got used to pumpernickel or other cardboard grains help together by strong glue Oh well
    I’m now in France and the bread is heavenly


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