Alarming News!!! :o

beer
OMG, what will they be drinking now? Water?

 

Hey, we’re not talking about just any cuntry here, we’re talking about stinkin’ rich and fat Germany, a country brought up on beer instead of mother’s milk. What’s wrong with them Jerry fux???

 

bavarianbeer
*Gulps* Bavarian beer. 😦

 

 

Beer Spill
Prost!

I mean, to be fair, this was very predictable since quite a while. Beer sales and profits were going down since years already and the breweries were trying to blow fresh life into the moribund brewing craft by inventing always new – and more and more repelling – beer flavours. They put in lemons, fruit cocktail, lemonade, carbonated water and other disgusting stuffs but nothing helped against beer’s downward trend. And I know why and I know it has nothing to do with its taste and its longterm impact on your potbelly.

 

KöPi
“KöPi” is a so-called premium brand from Germany’s coalmine Northrine-Westphalia.

No, the answer is much more easy: Beer is and always was considered a poor man’s beverage, a blue collar, working class, honest to the bone, salt of the earth beverage for the man on the street. And as it so happens, and with the global economic crisis that did even catch up with spoiled Germans, nobody wants to have anything to do with those losers anymore.

 

longlegs
Don’t you thirst for a beer, dontcha?
turkbeer
Looks like a Turk, sposed to be a German.

30 years ago, people were proud of their work and of their status as laborers. Then computers happened and then banks did happen and then the yuppies happened and then suddenly everything was turned on its head. Suddenly it became sexy to be a suit wearing stiff, suddenly it became sexy working for a useless bank, suddenly it became sexy sitting at a computer and hacking into a keyboard like a fukn secretary … suddenly beer wasn’t good enough anymore.

 

BricklayerLemonade
The lowlife Bricklayer’s lemonade Holsten Edel is what you piss out after you drink its posher big brother, Holsten Pilsner.
DirndlLegs
Not even sexy blonde bimbos can save beer.

Quite the contrary, the worse your economy gets, the more expensive your drinks must be! Lost your very well paying job as a welder or iron bender or screwdriver, after 25 years of loyal service to your company – of which you don’t even know anymore who owns it, a sheik, a Russian or a Chinese biznizman – they fired your ass let you go and join the masses of poor bastards in the unemployed queue? Care for a beer? No fuck noooo! Beer stands for an undesirable lifestyle, so you order the most expensive champagne, just to keep up appearances, just so nobody can see how broke your ass truly is.

 

oktoberfest
Weird enough, the Oktoberfest seems to sell more beer every year. No wonder, the hordes of unemployed assholes have lots of time to get sloshed and no worries about coming late to work the next day. Sounds like Orcs? Ya, a little. Only difference is Orcsi don’t live in Jerryland and Orcsi don’t drink!

So German breweries go belly up for one reason and one reason only: Fukn Jerries are a bunch of pretentious schmucks!

 

PD*25151406
This juggling number takes strength and coordination, two attributes most of this waitresses customers won’t have anymore after a day at the Beer festival.

 

 

3 comments

  1. We have that here, too. But American brewers like Anheuser-Busch don’t even start with good German beer when they mix in lime juice, Kool-Aid, Goddess knows what in with it. No, they use Budweiser, which in the United States is the most insipid lager known to mankind. I’ve had Czech Budweiser and not only was it great, but only two bottles had caused the Ascot railway station to tilt alarmingly as my train to the West End arrived.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Even in Germany the beer consume points downwards. Since years already. It’s prolly not chic enuff for the millenials. So in Germany you see these alarming trends as well, with which the breweries are trying to crank up the sales again. They put al kinds of fruity shit in their beers in hopes to even get us girls into drinking that shit.
      Good hot, sweaty day, gimme a beer. Cold but not too cold. Leave the fukn fruit bowl!

      Like

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