*EDIT* Orca at the Movies: SW Ep. VII: The Force Awakens *EDIT*

Okay, after all the hype today I found an opportunity to watch the Star Wars flick in a real movie theatre … in 3D even. Needless to say I hate 3D but our poorly equipped local cinema doesn’t screen the movie in no other format. To watch it in 2D or IMAX I’d need to drive like half an hour to get to the bigger shopping mall with the bigger theatre.

I was lucky enough to sneak away and watch the movie since hubby was – and still is – at a meeting with some neighbours, which means BBQ with mountains of meat and oceans of beer. Cool beans for me, shall his drunken peasants friends take care of him and deliver him back at our doorstep. 😉

 

SWTicket
I paid 86 ZAR (5.70 USD) for the ticket, incl. 3D goggles. Very expensive.

 

So, how was the movie experience? Apart from it being very uncomfy for me to wear those cheapo 3D goggles over my day to day goggles I found the movie kinda … boring. Sorry, yes, I wasn’t even halfways as entertained as expected. And that although this movie did a lot of stuff right. Stuff George Lucas fucked up badly in episodes 1 – 3. Yes, I had to giggle a couple of times. Yes, in the beginning it was exciting and well paced. Yes, BB8 is cute as a button. Yes, the mostly very young cast did good jobs. Yes, JJ Abrams directed the film so very well … still I couldn’t enjoy it as much as I anticipated.

Maybe it was a mistake to let Mr. Abrams co-write the script, maybe it was a mistake not to hire some real hardcore SW geeks and check the script for plotholes and awkwardness – both did occur a couple of times – but maybe, or most probably, I’m just too old to feel any empathy with the characters.

Yes, it was indeed a not-so-good screenplay which ruined the movie for me. After having already seen all 6 SW movies (plus some animated ones) it’s not enough to retell the basically same old story again and again. There was no exciting plot twist in The Force Awakens, at least none that hasn’t been spoilered already. Leia had a screentime of maybe  1 minute all in all, which she mostly used hugging people. Han’s death scene left me and the whole audience cold, there was no *gasp* or *shriek* to hear in the theater.

And the not-so-secret apppearence of Luke as the climax of the whole show was pretty underwhelming too. I mean, wasn’t the whole movie about finding Luke? But after our heroes dealt with the first order (a weak remake of The Empire) and blew up their brand spanking new Death Star a couple seconds before its major planet destroying weapon became functional (sounds familiar?) it took our tough girly Rey only a minute to locate Luke Skywalker (her father?) and find him.

It’s exactly those cheap dramaturgical tricks I don’t wanna see in The Movie of the fuckn Year 2015!!! Dammit! And some other stupid disneyfied gimmicks were pretty lame and downright annoying as well. Female Stormtroopers? A really really bad guy who breaks apart after the first confrontation with his daddy? Puh-leez!!!

Still I enjoyed Star Wars: The Force Awakens quite a bit, particularly in the first half of the movie. Ya, I know, that’s the part most movie critics found not too good since it was all just establishing and introduction of characters. But it was so charming and humorously done, I really loved it. While the last part of the movie was just a dutifully and dry working up the checklist. The quirkyness and the character development was non-existent anymore. Shame, it could’ve been so nice.

 

ADDENDUM: I forgot to rank Ep. VII The Force Awakens in the official kanon, in which it holds up pretty well despite being a bad film. Because, and let’s be totally honest now, the other 6 movies were bad as well. Yes, even the original trilogy – Ep. IV to VI – were not as half as good as we make them out to be in our blurry memory. They were, to say the least, childish. Remember the Ewoks, master Yoda, the plushy figures in Jabba’s palace? OMG, how bad were all those creatures? Most of ’em could’ve been casted for the Muppet show without any problem. And all the later changes George Lucas did to the original movies didn’t do them any good neither. Let’s not even talk about Ep. I to III. Just saying, totally clean, unused technology and spaceships far ahead of later Episodes, Jar Jar Binks, child actors and “Anni” Skywalker …

So, inside the kanon, and directly compared to the other 6 movies Ep. VII doesn’t look too bad is clearly the best of the bunch! By far!

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