Oh yes, of course you know gaming laptops, you maybe even got one of those beasties – in which case you can be assured of my full envy – and you’re loving it. But there’s always that nagging feeling, no, the inevitable truth knowing that you could have much more better powerfullerer computing for much less money in a desktop. That your CPU and GPU are always marked and marred by wearing the M in their model numbers. Right? Don’t tell me I’m lieing, I know it’s true.

Or it used to be true. Until Nvidia came up with this:

Yeah, that’s right motherfucker. Nvidia made a laptop. LOL. Nothing special really, it’s just a standard Clevo barebone case with standard laptop parts in it. Judging by this pic it even looks like those crazy Taiwanese bros from ASUS made it for them. Only it isn’t! In this laptop you’ll find a Geforce GTX980. Period. Not the M(obile) chip but the full fledged desktop GTX980 GPU. Dunno how, but these magical geeks down at Nvidia managed to pull it of.

Over and gone are the times where you had desktop-like graphics from your heavily overpriced lappy, that was sold to you as desktop class with desktop-ish power or something equally non-compelling. This lappy features a real desktop GTX980 GPU. And that’s it.

ArsTechnica reported about it as well, so it must be true then. /me suspiciously checks the calendar and notices, pheeew, is not April 1.

Looksee at this video by Tek Syndicate fraggles Logan and Quain:

Noticed how they noted the mechanical keyboard on one of those gamer lappies (with Cherry MX brown switches … oooh yum) and Logan was almost more excited about that than about the graphics chip … and rightfully so I must say as a fellow keyboard enthusiast!

Oh, before I forget, LinusTechTips was also in LA to check out those fresh superlappies.

So, in conclusion … wanna hear my honest opinion? No, of course you don’t, since you know what an unfair, anti-capitalist, America bashing killjoy this Orca bishie is. Well, fuck you and your opinion, this is my fukn blog and I’m in a generous mood today so you’ll get to hear read my messed up opinion(s, I have actually 2 of those on this topic) anyways. 😉

Don’t you think it’s about time you’d upgrade your machine pool? I know you have no money for it since you just bought a new shiny car, a new shiny house, you gotta start saving now for the college  education of your freshly born baby, you gotta buy foodstuff and beer and whiskey and new furniture and omg! have you seen these shoes?, and much more stuff. Ok so be it. But then please stop pestering the SL forums with demands of making SL more accessible for your bargain basement laptop/tablet/phone! Because that’s a stinkin’ attitude, lady. Not everybody’s prepared to deal with your cheapskate Walmart mindset. If you deem smelly shortleggers more important than a decent computer, then stay the fuck out of my kitchen! LOL. 😮

Secondly, I know because of aforementoned reasons you won’t have a dedicated study room/home office in your shiny new house, so you need, you must have, a laptop since there just isn’t any space for a giant tower block and a huge screen (apart from your monster TV of course) in your humble abode. You actually prefer to sit hunched over the laptop like a slouchy sloppy teenager? Ok so be it But then be prepared to pay actual money, good money, for a decent laptop. And please don’t complain when that poor thing dies the heat death after you used it for hours on your wooly blanket or shag carpet with tuned down ventilation coz of da *whirr whirr* noice.

And thirdly … wait a moment, thirdly? Yes, sorry, I just had an epiphany so don’t stop me now as I’m giving you my third opinion. And don’t forget you get this third opinion totally free of charge, with no additional costs added: You’re blown away by the new technology and the wonders of having a real desktop GPU in your laptop and you want one. And you want it NAO, dammit!!!

Except, no, you don’t.

Lemme tell you why: Whoever comes up with the first GTX non-M powered lappy first will have a lot of problems with customers complaints. Of course, the technology is brand spanking new and we all know how mass market manufacturers like ASUS and MSI cut corners (costs) at every opportunity. So you can be quite sure you won’t get sufficient ventilation and heat dissipation … not in  the first generation, you won’t. I prophesize you will run into trubbbels with that probably heavily overpriced battlemonster pretty soon. And a monster it will be. As the articles stated your new lappy will be at least a 17″! It will be heavy. It willl be a desktop replacement, not a real laptop for moble working. These things are supposed to be used on top of a desk, not on top of a pillow. They are mobile in so far that you can junk them in an orthopedic backpack and haul them around in your car, from location A to location B. They are not meant to be unpacked – and even less to be used – en route!

Fouthly (yeah, I know I should make up my mind – if possible – before I tell you that I only have two opinions) you’ve seen the model GTX Nividia will use to ship out to laptop manufacturers. GTX980. Ya, ok, it is Nvidia’s latest and almost greatest but the whole 9xx product line has kinda reached the end of lifecycle by now. Dunno exactly when team green started shipping the 9xx but it sure is on the market for a year by now. You know what this means: A new generation of even betterer, superior on a recently unknown level, graphic cards will flood the market. Pretty soon I guess. And your super new and super expensive super lappy with GTX980 will be sooooooo old, soooo outdated, sooo yesterday’s news, you won’t even believe. People will again look down on you and tell you smugly »OMfG, Lady, you need something better.«  😦

So maybe fifthly (the readers groan) you should start thinking about a desktop computer. And don’t buy it but build it! I’m earnest and I mean it! Let them stupid smartphone kiddies freshmen consumers laugh at you, they aren’t really SL residents, they aren’t even as half as cool as you are! They are like Jon Snow, they know nothing. Come on, you can find a little space in your huge McMansion monster … at the kitchen table, the dining table, the garage, the skullery, wherever. Even in your bedroom.

And as you’ve seen from Orca’s great example you don’t need a super beeeeg monster tower case for your machine. You won’t believe how much graphical power you can stuff into tiny humble computer cases which look even much more sexier than those watercooled monstrosities one expects from a gaming PC. As residents of a virtual world we aren’t gamers, dammit!!!

Anyway, once your GTX980 doesn’t cut it anymore for SL you can easily swap it out for whatever is Nvidia’s top of the line then. And you can do it in a matter of 2 minutes. Because why? Because you once in your life listened to little Orcsi and built your PC yourself – instead of paying much too much money for cheapo nonsense PCs by the usual suspects – so now you know your way around in that thing even blindfolded.