The Worst Computer EVER!

»Woah! Orca you stoopit cow, how dare you making such a bold claim, such a discriminating statement. How do you presume you’re in any position to ruin the livelihood of thousands of eager workers in Shanghai by condemning and denunciating a perfectly fine IT product? That’s bullshit, bitch!!!«

Of course the headline is bullshit. As if I wouldn’t know that. I guess it’s not even possible to single out a certain computer and name it the worestest one ever. The decision if something is good or bad is a personal one most of the times. Even in a highly technical environment like computers. Of course there are measurable differences in speed, graphical output, storage capacity, build quality, weight, size and many other qualifications, yes. But there is also the even more important personal taste and need and want factor a certain computer has to meet. What good is the most powerful beast of a super server for me, when all I want is a small netbook or a tablet, or even a smartphone, for mobile use? And to say it in another way: The best computer is the one you got! Of course. The highest specced machine is just a bunch of crap as long as it’s in a catalogue and not in your house. Because why? Because it’s useless as long as you can’t work on it!

So understand that the mostest worstest, the absolute wurst computer ever is also a personal choice. In the case of this article it’s my personal choice. My story. My wurst computer.

And it wasn’t even the worst computer for quite some time, it turned into the worst computer slowly but surely. In fact, when we first got this specific computer it was Da Bomb, the coolest piece of IT equipment we ever owned, and we got quite a bunch of nice machines already stacked up in our apartment.

Ok, to make it short the worstest computer ever was this:


A 1999 Apple iMac Special Edition, as easy to see from its grey clear housing. Main difference between this and the lower iMacs (blue, orange, green, purple) was a slightly faster PowerPC processor 400 Mhz, double RAM (128 MB LOL), biggerer than normal 13 GB hard drive and some sort of early graphics card. Oh, and a DVD drive. Drive, not burner. At least we could watch the fairly new fangled DVDs and weren’t depending on VHS tapes anymore. Whoohoo!

Hey, stop laughing; back in ’99 these were quite impressive specs. At least for an consumer grade Apple they were. Since we bought this ’99 machine in 2000 it was already on special offer with a lower price but still kinda WOAH! if you know or recall the hardware prices from back then. Needless to say our iEgg was wayyyyy fukn overpriced. :/

No grey – no Special Edition! Suckaz. 😉

Anyhoo, coming from Windows 95 we found the MacOS 8.6 GUI pretty primitive and fugly but got used to it pretty fast. And indeed there was something about the Mac experience you couldn’t deny: Everything worked easy and flawlessly, all the applications looked and acted like they came from the same mould. Which is no wonder since they were made by the same team folowing the same desktop design philosophy. After a couple of weeks hubby already edited litle masterpieces of selfmade videos on it. And for my work on The Novel the iMac had a very nice keyboard. Actually the second best after the IBM Model M. So we could say that little egg-shaped thing was perfect. Particularly after we upgraded our machine to MacOS 9.1. So beautiful, soooo fucking modern!

Lis Chaong of and

Then the planned move to South Africa didn’t happen as fast as we wanted and the iMac, together with all our furniture and non-mobile tech disappeared in storage for about a year. Weirdly, ever since we got it back out of the container after the move, the eggMac wasn’t at the height of its game anymore. It overheated, blew graphic chips, RAM chips and whatnot stuff we as typical Apple users were too stupid to understand and went into service in ever shorter intervalls. Until one day the frustrated Apple techy dropped it at our house, saying this was the last time he worked on it. Hmmm. I guess that is something, eh? If not even the official Apple repair center won’t touch your iCrap anymore? Not even for money? 😮 Yes, definately not a good sign.

Lis Chaong of and

Okay, as always our MacCrap worked for like 2 or 3 weeks any then gave up again. And this time it was serious, the little egg was smoking puff balls … the screen decreased to a fine white line and then went poof dark 😦 … and then the power unit said baibai with a distinct, unmistakable and explicit Sproinnnng!  😦 In fact the picture tube and the PSU had given up simultaneously. 😮 Not even two minutes later EggMac landed in the bin. After it had served us for only like maybe 2.5 years – at least one of those spent in storage and in repair center – and now it crowned, climaxed and ended its sad existence in the garbage bin in our backyard, carrying the official title of The Worst Computer Ever! 

Nice re-enactment of our Grey iMac SE’s not-so-sudden death.

So, what’s your Wurst Kompjutah Ever story?  Let’s hear it, so Orca ain’t the only one with a bad experience.


  1. my first / worst was a HP from 98 with specs much like your imac, except no dvd drive at all. in truth it wasn’t a bad computer, it was far from what I needed. in the end I had installed a dvd drive. A second graphics card a Hercules chip, and a sound card. fun bit I still use the hard drive and is why I swear by Western Digital, never had any other brand last more then 5 years and never had a Seagate last over 11 months. any way sound slike good fun and it was. but had to do a crap ton to it to get it to do what I needed which is the crux of why it was crap and cause me tons or hair pulling.

    I spent 2wice the money making a computer suit me then I would have if I bought what I neded to begin with. and I think that’s why computers are so frustrating compared to things like tablits and to a lessor degree laptops, everything those things do is crap and we love it cause there is no PC geek running around with a water cooled tablit showing you how good things really can be.

    and yeah its hard, I know exactly what I need my computer to do and the computer I built is a TON more then I needed. I made the biggest common mistake and bought in to a crap ton more cpu and motherboard then i needed, could have shaved 200-300$ of my total build costs and still run Sl and even the super high end games and flash websites with plenty of head room and still have the ability to have other programs up on the second screen. and as far as the idea of, Moon don’t worry that super huge cpu will future proof you longer. the short answer is … no it wont.

    fun moon tip
    ok, for laptops and tablits i have no advice for computers i do have one tib bit. Actually plan to upgrade it once or twice a year.
    trim your budget back a lil and play with the new toy, find out why it sucks then next year upgrade that.

    embarrassing moon moment. first sound card i installed i had one of those “is it plugged in moments”…. i was on with tech support for hours and no, i didn’t have the speaker cord plugged in to the card 🙂


    • LOL, the unplugged speaker cord’s a classic. 😉 And yes, tablets are useless crap anyway, fukn blown up mobile phones. I never use one so I don’t care what the specs are. Laptops we always buy the cheapest crap we can get our fingers on because they get stolen anyway. And my little netbook is just right for what it does, as long as I don’t log in SL with it.

      Yeah, desktops … it’s easy too overdo them. For surfing, watching videos and playing SL you don’t need an i7. All you need is a beefy gpu and there we go. 😉


  2. Well maybe give something concrete
    into consideration when looking at a new comp
    instead of some generaal ideas moon?

    Processor: Intel I3-4160
    Mainbord: Asrock fatality b85 killer
    SSD: Samsung 850 EVO 120 gb
    Memory: 8 gb ddr 3 – 1600 ram.
    Case: Coolermaster Silencio 550,
    GPU: MSI Geforce 950 GTX – gaming – 2 gb ddr5
    Power supply: Be quiet pure power L8 – 400 w

    I would go in this direction if i would buy a new comp
    aimed for sl and some office work at the moment.

    A bit balance between, price (arround 650 euro without os,
    or assemblation bye your local webshop),
    quietness and options to upgrade the damn thing.
    The I3 is 2 cores, but fast cores when i read the tests.
    And it has hypertreading.

    I think about getting even
    a much lower end build together to test and show
    what you can do on a low end build when building
    a comp. in our lovely world.
    The feeling is you don’t need too much power

    To everyone who will throw a fit at me about
    considering a 50’s graphics card. I sail now on
    an old laptop with a i7 and geforce 610m
    graphics card and wireless internet connection.
    It’s possible to win races even with a much lower
    end gpu like this on mid level graphic settings.


    • Not gonna throw a fit at you for the x50 gpu and I’m sure you can win races on it. But not everybody is just into sailing. I for example want full eyecandy with shadows and 256 meters DD and I’m much too lazy to dial it down when I go shopping or enter full sims. For that it’s nice to have graphic ooomph. So I guess I did quite well when I scored the older Asus GTX 770.


  3. Or maybe even :

    Processor AMD Athlon x4 860k
    Power supply: be quiet pure power L8 – 400 w
    Case: Cooler master Silencio 352
    Memory: 8 gb ddr 3 – 1600
    GPU: MSI geforce GTX 75O – oc v1 – 1 gb drr 5 memory
    Motherboard: Asrock FM2a88m – HD+
    SSD : kingston 120 gb ssd

    That goes for arround 450 euro without os and assemblation
    bye shop. Low upgrade potential, but still pretty good for Sl
    it will be i think.


  4. I do a lot of video converting and some high end gaming. Trying to avoid bragging about my system but my case cost more then those budget builds 🙂

    and I’d strongly recommend buying a cheap 900 series card, lower power needs super cool running, gives you lots more room to overclock ( over clocking a 700 or 900 card is so easy and safe that it simply should be done )

    for a budget build half the ram would be a great place to cut back costs for today. upgrading ram is Lego easy so pop in 4 more gigs next year. most folks rarely need more then 4, but 8 is nice head room for background crap running on the pc

    that power supply I never herd of. EVERYTHING in your pc runs off the power supply, dirty power can kill tons of things and cause tons of additional issues. get the best quality power supply you can. any thing less and you risk killing your entire investment.

    this is a similar reason I spent an obscene amount of money on a case. since 2000 I’ve bought a case with each new build cause the old case was that ….. ewwww. no more. got me something I know will outlive me and can actually fit four 3 fan radiators and 30 hard drives. its amazing the things you never really notice and just accept on the cheaper cases. its an amazing sensation when the motherboard actually lines up perfectly with all the standoffs. this is the first computer I’ve built where I didn’t have to skip 1 or 2 motherboard screws. additional case side note, get yourself a nice screw driver that is Not chrome plated go on and spend 10 bucks, every case builder uses crap screws and a nice screw driver will prevent tons of headache. fun moon fact my third computer case was my top left desk drawer.

    wont get in the amd / intell debate, again learn what each does best and then buy the one that fits your needs, video rendering made intell the logical step for me.
    (( I have plans for a media pc/ server, a tiny economy affair with 10-20 hard drives and an AIO and so AMD will most likely give me the best results for that application))

    BTW everyone who doesn’t have one go grab an SSD and toss your OS and SL on it and the cache, anything that has a cache aim the cache at the SSD and anything else that needs fast access to data. That was a bigger improvement for me in SL then upgrading from a 5 year old economy graphics card to a modern top of the line card.
    BTW2 everyone go out and build a pc, the hard part is research the building is lego easy
    BTW3 get a NICE screwdriver

    serious get the screwdriver, and a very very good power supply, everything else you can upgrade easily. those will cause pain and tears if they go bad


    • Yeah, that was actually the first thing I did after I ordered all the parts for my new PC: Got a nice set of screwdrivers with magnetic tips. Fukn livesaver these things are. You don’t wanna lose a very litle screw somewhere in the dephts of you case.

      And powersupply as well. Doesn’t need to be awfully powerful, particularly with the new generation of powersaving spare parts. But good quality is a must. Congrats on the Be Quiet! PSU btw, Armo. They are quality Made in Germany parts, same as everything in Be Quiet’s portfolio.

      I got a Corsair CX 750 Watts PSU, which ain’t Corsair’s best series but at least a reputable manufacturer. I wouldn’t by a PSU from no-name sweatshop producers. BTW, Corsair has their PSUs made by Seasonic, like almost all other hardware suppliers as well. For me it was important to get a fully modular PSU, so I won’t have too many useless cables in my pretty small M-ITX build.

      And yes, you’re right about quality cases. They make the building process much easier. Stupid me skimped on the money in that regard. I trusted in CooolerMaster’s Elite 130 case and ran promptly into problems when I screwed in the Mobo standoffs. Typical shoddy American build quality. I guess they saved on personnel in the quality control dept. But now I’m pretty happy with MiniMax – how I called my rig. It’s not very quiet but small and black and kinda sexy in it’s utilitarian look.

      Regarding RAM you know M-ITX mobos only offer 2 slots and the choice in South Africa is rather limited so I had to take 2×4 GB bars of 1800 Mhz Crucial Ballistix. I’d liked to have 16 GB RAM but 8 is more than enough if you don’t wanna render a lot of video or huge graphic files.

      SSD was a question of honour 🙂 They really came down in price quite a bit, so I took a 256 GB Crucial MX, which was piceworthy and is soooo fukn cool. I have Linux, SL viewer and my picture collection on it, all other files either on my old WD 1 TB HDD that I transplanted from my old rig and 2 external HDDs.

      LOL, “all other files” are really just that; files, documents, movies, music, photos. Because all additional applications are part of the OS in Linux. So I keep my office suite, graphics editor, browser and all that shit also on my SSD, since they are kinda part of the OS.


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