Fuk You Fukn Turd!!! :(

Okay, after Friday’s early morning yoga class my new pride, the Blue Turd (in lack of a better name) refused to start up again, leaving me stranded on an empty parking lot on the outskirtest of outskirts on the far out northern end of our far out suburb. To the north only endless dunes and probably 10 million poisenous snakes. No problemo, hello taxi! Then calling my fave mechanic and crying about our shitty new-old car. »No problem, Veebkah [South-African-English way to pronounce my name], leave it to me, we get that done in no time.«

Friday came and went, and after two more phonecalls to a steadily more hectic and stressed mechanic I managed to find out as much as they couldn’t even open up the bonnet, since the panel beater did a sloppy job fitting it back in.

Sunday more phone calls, no sign of Turdy ever getting better.

Same story on Monday … no cruising around for Veebkah and her hubby, the foodstuff delivery service makes a killing from our situation.

Today I get a call: »Petrol line eroded totally, big hole, you lost all your petrol but we patched it up nicely with some plastic tubing. I come and get you.«

Cool! \o/ Finally able to drive again and hit the shops. Whoopee n stuff. 🙂 Mechanic gets me to his garage, I start the car … nuffink! Oy! 😮

Hour later, mechanic running out of tricks, me giving him blank stares … new diagnosis. Obviously some dirt clogging up a jet. Me nods wisely as if I knew what that means, mechanic telling me he needs to dig in a bit deeper, would maybe take one more hour. Or so. So he brings me home, where I’m sitting now and hoping for the best.

blueturd1
»Start, you Fuckmother!«

But however this latest fukup ends, I’m kinda super disappointed with our nice blue car. Of course I should’ve known that a car that old will have problems from time to time. But I didn’t believe it, thought we fix it up and are done with it. Turdy good as new. Obviously I was wearing my pink glasses. 😦

blueturd2
»Points are clean, she doesn’t get petrol.« »Shuddup and get him fixed, man!« Weird, all the machanics calling all the cars »she«, like we do with boats. But Turdy is definately a dirty old man, a grumpy grampa.

Anyone still complaining about me being too negative and sceptical?

5 comments

    • Ya, I hope so. In fact when he was still fugly the car was running nicely … until we made it prettier and restored the engine :/

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    • :))) Merci beaucoup for acknowledging what I’m doing here with this car. Yeah, I’m not downsizing. As a legendary figure in SL Sailing and a powerful magazine editor I only know one way to go: UPGRADING! BIGGER, BETTER, FASTER, LOUDER, HEAVIER, CRAZIER!!! 😮
      But I’m still so humble and my Chevy is “only” the 4.1 liter inline 6, not the 5.0 liter V8. But still it’s running soooo smoothly, like a sewing machine on steroids. If it runs at all. And it uses much less petrol than my old Mercedes.

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